Rigger's Diary: yesterday

You cannot do that, then everyone will want one..
Brian

--
Brian Gaff -
Note:- In order to reduce spam, any email without 'Brian Gaff'
in the display name may be lost.
Blind user, so no pictures please!
"Steve Terry" wrote in message
...

"Bill Wright" wrote in message
news snip
At last I got finished and I was sitting in the van having a drink when
this
woman came marching up. She looked like Maddy Prior (but mucky) and she
had
a cowboy hat on. "All around my hat" I thought as she steamed up the
street.
My window was already wound down. "Oi, don't you **** off just yet! I've
got
no sound!"
"I can hear you clear enough."
She laughed very slightly and said, "On the telly yer daft ****! I've had
to
switch to the antenna."
"Err . . ."
"You know, the old antenna." I told her to unplug the DTT box and plug it
back in. "Will that do it?"
"Yep."
"Are you ****ing sure because I don't want you ****ing off while I'm
doing
it."
"Look I'm totally knackered. If you live within 20 paces I'll come and
have
a look."


It's at this point you're supposed to say, OK i'll fix it for a shag

Steve Terry

In article , Brian Gaff
wrote:
Have these people not heard of sticky labels and a pen?
I mean, the obvious thing to have done was to mark where the plugs went and
into which sockets by numbering them. Its hardly rocket science is it?

Or digital cameras?

Rod.
--
Virtual Access V6.3 free usenet/email software from
http://sourceforge.net/projects/virtual-access/

"Brian Gaff" wrote in message
om...
Have these people not heard of sticky labels and a pen?
I mean, the obvious thing to have done was to mark where the plugs went
and into which sockets by numbering them. Its hard ly rocket science is
it?


Brian

Brian, the best of it is I told this bloke to do just that last time, and he
didn't bother.

Bill

"Brian Gaff" wrote in message
m...
You cannot do that, then everyone will want one..
Brian

At one time that would have been alright . . . but now . . .

Bill

"Ian" wrote in message
...
In message , Steve Terry
writes
"Bill Wright" wrote in message
news snip
At last I got finished and I was sitting in the van having a drink when
this
woman came marching up. She looked like Maddy Prior (but mucky) and she
had
a cowboy hat on. "All around my hat" I thought as she steamed up the
street.
My window was already wound down. "Oi, don't you **** off just yet! I've
got
no sound!"
"I can hear you clear enough."
She laughed very slightly and said, "On the telly yer daft ****! I've
had
to
switch to the antenna."
"Err . . ."
"You know, the old antenna." I told her to unplug the DTT box and plug
it
back in. "Will that do it?"
"Yep."
"Are you ****ing sure because I don't want you ****ing off while I'm
doing
it."
"Look I'm totally knackered. If you live within 20 paces I'll come and
have
a look."

It's at this point you're supposed to say, OK i'll fix it for a shag
Steve Terry

You've never seen Maddy Prior, have you?
Ian


OK her daughter then
Depends how desperate they are for the Jeremy Kyle show

Steve Terry

"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...

"Steve Terry" wrote in message
...

"Bill Wright" wrote in message
news snip
"Look I'm totally knackered. If you live within 20 paces I'll come and
have
a look."

It's at this point you're supposed to say, OK i'll fix it for a shag

Believe me, NO! You really wouldn't, honestly. All the time you'd be
thinking about germs. And the fag smell would really put you off.
Bill

I don't mind I'm fully rubber protected, I have my own gas mask

Steve Terry

"Bill Wright" wrote in message
news
[fortissimo] "'ello, can you 'ere me? I've pulled all the wires out and
now
I want to put them back, what do I do?"
I paused before replying.
"'ello, can you 'ere me? Are you there Bill?"
"Yes, I'm here."
"Good. I've pulled all the wires out and now I want to put them back, what
do I do?"
I knew perfectly well who it was, but . . .
"You have the advantage of me."
"Wot? Bill, I've pulled all the wires out and now I want to put them back,
what do I do?"
"Is that George?"
"No!" (outraged at this absurd suggestion) "It's Jim! I've bottomed the
corner of the van where the telly is and I've pulled . . ."
"Jim who?"
The outrage was now total. "Jim Hargreaves! Who did you think it was? "
"Oh, hello Jim! Haven't heard from you for a while. How's Joan?"
"She's fine. Look, I've pulled all the wires out and now I want to put
them
back, but I don't know where they go. If you can just talk me through it .
.
."
"Err, well, I'll try, but actually I'm in the queue at Tescos . . ."
"Good time to catch you then, while you've nowt to do. Now look I've put
the
satellite one back, that's obvious because it screws on, it's these scarp
leads, these big thick ones I can't fathom."
"I can't remember your set up Jim. This is the motorhome is it? What kit
have you got?"
"There's the telly, it's only got one scarp socket, you said that made it
awkward when you did it all, then there's the sky, then there the video
and
the DVD,"
"That's a DVD player then? Or does it record?"
"Oh it might do I dunno."
"Do you record programmes on it?"
"No, we've got the video for that. Our John might though when he goes to
Brid."
"How many scart sockets has it got?"
"I'm looking at it now. Two, and a little yellow one, and red, and white,
and some other stuff."
"OK, well just link everything up with your scart leads in a daisy chain.
The telly will be at the end of the chain because it's only got one scart
socket and the Sky box will be at the other. Try that. If it doesn't work
bring the van round here over the weekend."
"What if I get it in the wrong order? Is it like the firing order in an
engine?"
"Not really. Just try it and come round here if it doesn't work. But don't
bloodywell come round at seven o'clock on Sunday morning like you did last
time."
"Eight then?"
"Bugger off."

Later:

I had been mostly up the ladder for three hours rebuilding a big head-end
that had been damaged by rain getting into the box. I'd had my back to the
square, around which were the little houses. Half of the estate was out,
sitting on their front walls, smoking and boozing. All the time there was
this shouting and screaming: at the kids, at the dog, at the cat, at the
partner. Effing and blinding all the time. What chance have those little
kids got have growing up with decent standards? Every so often someone
would
come up and ask, "Will you be long? I'm missing me tennis." I always say
that I will be a long time, and they always say "Oh ****ing 'ell, it's
driving me bonkers this is." This is for a three hour absence of
television.
If they say they're missing Emmerdale or something I sometimes advise them
to record it.
At last I got finished and I was sitting in the van having a drink when
this
woman came marching up. She looked like Maddy Prior (but mucky) and she
had
a cowboy hat on. "All around my hat" I thought as she steamed up the
street.
My window was already wound down. "Oi, don't you **** off just yet! I've
got
no sound!"
"I can hear you clear enough."
She laughed very slightly and said, "On the telly yer daft ****! I've had
to
switch to the antenna."
"Err . . ."
"You know, the old antenna." I told her to unplug the DTT box and plug it
back in. "Will that do it?"
"Yep."
"Are you ****ing sure because I don't want you ****ing off while I'm doing
it."
"Look I'm totally knackered. If you live within 20 paces I'll come and
have
a look."
"Well it's 'ere." She indicated the wall of the nearest house.
In the house she pressed button 1 on the TV and BBC1 came on with the
sound
working. "See, that's the antenna. But if I put the digital on . . ." She
demonstrated and there was a picture but no sound. "And there's them black
bits." She gestured towards to black areas of screen above and below the
picture. I reached behind the TV set and switched the power to the DTT box
off at the wall. The telly screen went black and I pressed the volume up
button for a good while. At that point a purple-clad creature of immense
proportions squeezed though the door.
"Are you coming to me? -- because it was me that sent for you in the first
place!" I turned the power on again.
"Yes if you like. But what's your reception like?"
"Oh it's lovely now!"
"Have you checked all the channels on your digibox?"
"Yes every one. I can even get Channel Five now! It was me that sent for
you
in the first place though!"
"Well, I don't need to come into your house. You've checked it yourself."
At that point the digibox came to life and the sound absolutely bellowed
out.
"OK ladies, can I go home now?"
"Yes, go on then. We'll let yer off."

Bill


Question is, what would the ladies have done to you if they had decided Not
to let yer off?!

Don't you just love how the skilled artisan is appreciated in today's
British society
In Germany the title "Engineer" is as respected as Doctor

Steve Terry

On Sat, 27 Jun 2009 12:33:01 +0100, "Steve Terry"
wrote:

surgical snip

Don't you just love how the skilled artisan is appreciated in today's
British society
In Germany the title "Engineer" is as respected as Doctor

Which doesn't carry much kudos in the UK if it also ends in "GP".

"Harry" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 27 Jun 2009 12:33:01 +0100, "Steve Terry"
wrote:

surgical snip

Don't you just love how the skilled artisan is appreciated in today's
British society
In Germany the title "Engineer" is as respected as Doctor

Which doesn't carry much kudos in the UK if it also ends in "GP".


Most GPs are on a £ hundred thousand a year now, you think they give a feck?

Steve Terry

"Steve Terry" wrote in message
...

"Harry" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 27 Jun 2009 12:33:01 +0100, "Steve Terry"
wrote:

surgical snip

Don't you just love how the skilled artisan is appreciated in today's
British society
In Germany the title "Engineer" is as respected as Doctor

Which doesn't carry much kudos in the UK if it also ends in "GP".


Most GPs are on a £ hundred thousand a year now, you think they give a
feck?



|
Plus the poor dears were given shorter working hours and are no longer
compelled to provide out of hours home visits, which means there is now a
lucrative opportunity open for hundreds of foreign doctors who apparently
find it very worthwhile to commute here and earn good money doing it for
them.



http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-425834/The-1-000-day-foreign-doctors-standing-GPs.html

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/05/05/foreign-doc-s-drug-blunder-killed-dad-115875-21332847/