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Betty Swallocks



 
 
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  #1  
Old December 17th 18, 09:55 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Chris Holmes
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Posts: 73
Default Betty Swallocks

Well more Bore Swallocks......

I’ll preface this by saying I’ve already seen a GP and 2 nurses who have quizzed me and prodded and poked me (including a nurse who did an internal exam (allegedly with her finger, but I suspect when my back was turned she whipped out a large marrow!). But they are baffled (though investigations are on going). So I thought I’d ask here and see if anybody has any wisdom......

When I was a boy and into heavy petting as we used to call it after about 3 hours, I’d wind up with pain in my undercarriage which spread upwards for about a foot.

10 minutes with a copy of Mayfair, and 2 hours later I’d be right as rain.

What I’ve got at the moment is the same pain (though less severe) 24/7.

Any ideas anyone?

TIA

Chris
  #2  
Old December 17th 18, 10:27 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Chris Holmes
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Posts: 73
Default Betty Swallocks

Oops, sorry!

Thought I was in uk.d-I-y!

  #3  
Old December 17th 18, 10:34 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Andy Burns[_12_]
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Posts: 873
Default Betty Swallocks

Chris Holmes wrote:

When I was a boy and into heavy petting as we used to call it after
about 3 hours, I’d wind up with pain in my undercarriage which spread
upwards for about a foot.

Maybe your vas deferens are narrower than usual? Have you had the snip?

10 minutes with a copy of Mayfair, and 2 hours later I’d be right as rain.


Err, does the same 'remedy' still work?
  #4  
Old December 17th 18, 10:36 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Brian Gaff
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Posts: 7,741
Default Betty Swallocks

Quite how this goes for TV I'm at a loss.

I do think you describe a form of pain common in aging where the ahem,
innards tend to concertina like mad due to gravity and some, ahem, waste
products, get caught in these bends and distortions. Colonic irrigation or a
good laxative seem to be the only cure, though some hands on manipulation
can coax the hardened excrement to move to a point where it can be ejected
like small cannon balls.
Hope everyone had a nice lunch.
:-)
Brian

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This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from...
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"Chris Holmes" wrote in message
...
Well more Bore Swallocks......

I'll preface this by saying I've already seen a GP and 2 nurses who have
quizzed me and prodded and poked me (including a nurse who did an internal
exam (allegedly with her finger, but I suspect when my back was turned she
whipped out a large marrow!). But they are baffled (though investigations
are on going). So I thought I'd ask here and see if anybody has any
wisdom......

When I was a boy and into heavy petting as we used to call it after about 3
hours, I'd wind up with pain in my undercarriage which spread upwards for
about a foot.

10 minutes with a copy of Mayfair, and 2 hours later I'd be right as rain.

What I've got at the moment is the same pain (though less severe) 24/7.

Any ideas anyone?

TIA

Chris


  #5  
Old December 17th 18, 10:40 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Brian Gaff
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Posts: 7,741
Default Betty Swallocks

Not if my idea is his issue as the lower colon wobbles about to the back and
front as it sags and where it is depends on where the pain is.
Brian

--
----- --
This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from...
The Sofa of Brian Gaff...

Blind user, so no pictures please
Note this Signature is meaningless.!
"Andy Burns" wrote in message
...
Chris Holmes wrote:

When I was a boy and into heavy petting as we used to call it after
about 3 hours, I'd wind up with pain in my undercarriage which spread
upwards for about a foot.

Maybe your vas deferens are narrower than usual? Have you had the snip?

10 minutes with a copy of Mayfair, and 2 hours later I'd be right as
rain.


Err, does the same 'remedy' still work?



  #6  
Old December 17th 18, 10:42 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Andy Burns[_12_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 873
Default Betty Swallocks

Chris Holmes wrote:

Oops, sorry!
Thought I was in uk.d-I-y!


I suspect the answers will include angle-grinder or consulting the Viz
agony uncle.
  #7  
Old December 17th 18, 10:54 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Chris Holmes
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 73
Default Betty Swallocks

No snip, and no.
  #8  
Old December 17th 18, 10:56 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Chris Holmes
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 73
Default Betty Swallocks

11::^*))
  #9  
Old December 17th 18, 12:39 PM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Chris Holmes
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 73
Default Betty Swallocks

Number 2s are fine thanks Brian.

Number 1s fine apart from At the moment I have to get up 3 or 4 times a night rather than 1.

  #10  
Old December 17th 18, 12:45 PM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Norman Wells[_7_]
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Posts: 1,099
Default Betty Swallocks

On 17/12/2018 09:55, Chris Holmes wrote:
Well more Bore Swallocks......

I’ll preface this by saying I’ve already seen a GP and 2 nurses who have quizzed me and prodded and poked me (including a nurse who did an internal exam (allegedly with her finger, but I suspect when my back was turned she whipped out a large marrow!). But they are baffled (though investigations are on going). So I thought I’d ask here and see if anybody has any wisdom......

When I was a boy and into heavy petting as we used to call it after about 3 hours, I’d wind up with pain in my undercarriage which spread upwards for about a foot.

10 minutes with a copy of Mayfair, and 2 hours later I’d be right as rain.

What I’ve got at the moment is the same pain (though less severe) 24/7.

Any ideas anyone?


Perhaps your arms aren't long enough any more?

 




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