TOT and also rather disgusting

Had to laugh this afternoon. Bella, the spaniel without a brain, decided
to take a crap half way up the steep drive, right in the middle. God
alone knows why she chose that spot, but she did. Her 'sister' Lola is
always very sensible in finding places to crap. She generally finds a
nice secluded spot in the shrubbery. This is quite unlike the sadly lost
and gone Toby, who was christened 'The Minister of Inappropriate
Defecation' when he had a post in the cabinet we created from all our
animals. But anyway, Bella produced a quite large, almost spherical turd
which, from the moment it saw the light of day on a concrete drive with
a one in seven slope, started to roll. Now the thing with Bella is,
anything that even vaguely resembles a ball on the move causes her give
chase. She can't resist. It's one of the very few things she can
understand. See ball, must chase. She was in trouble right through the
autumn for stealing apples from the tree by jumping up, then bringing
them to any human who happened to be around in the hope that they'd
throw the apple away, so she could chase it. As I write this she's just
behind me, whining gently, apple retrieved from the hiding place behind
the settee and hopefully proffered in case I feel like putting my coat
on and going out into the yard and throwing the damned thing for her.
Any minute now she'll put the horrible saliva-covered Bramley onto my
lap, and bark at me, politely. But I digress. Seeing the spherical turd
rolling down the hill she very much wanted to retrieve it -- that was
obvious -- but the other end of her was still crapping. With a mighty
effort she expelled the remaining ****e and set off down the hill, but
the spherical turd having had such a good start had gone between two
Belfast sinks that have flowers in them. Bella scrabbled at the gap,
then sat down and barked at it. At that moment her owner, Paul, came
into the yard. "What's up with her?"
"Her ****e has rolled between the sinks and she wants it back."
"What's she want it for?"
"She wants me to throw it so she can fetch it. Obviously."
"Oh, right. Any chance of a coffee?"

Bill

On 11/25/2013 03:50 AM, Bill Wright wrote:
Had to laugh this afternoon. Bella, the spaniel without a brain, decided
to take a crap half way up the steep drive, right in the middle. God
alone knows why she chose that spot, but she did. Her 'sister' Lola is
always very sensible in finding places to crap. She generally finds a
nice secluded spot in the shrubbery. This is quite unlike the sadly lost
and gone Toby, who was christened 'The Minister of Inappropriate
Defecation' when he had a post in the cabinet we created from all our
animals. But anyway, Bella produced a quite large, almost spherical turd
which, from the moment it saw the light of day on a concrete drive with
a one in seven slope, started to roll. Now the thing with Bella is,
anything that even vaguely resembles a ball on the move causes her give
chase. She can't resist. It's one of the very few things she can
understand. See ball, must chase. She was in trouble right through the
autumn for stealing apples from the tree by jumping up, then bringing
them to any human who happened to be around in the hope that they'd
throw the apple away, so she could chase it. As I write this she's just
behind me, whining gently, apple retrieved from the hiding place behind
the settee and hopefully proffered in case I feel like putting my coat
on and going out into the yard and throwing the damned thing for her.
Any minute now she'll put the horrible saliva-covered Bramley onto my
lap, and bark at me, politely. But I digress. Seeing the spherical turd
rolling down the hill she very much wanted to retrieve it -- that was
obvious -- but the other end of her was still crapping. With a mighty
effort she expelled the remaining ****e and set off down the hill, but
the spherical turd having had such a good start had gone between two
Belfast sinks that have flowers in them. Bella scrabbled at the gap,
then sat down and barked at it. At that moment her owner, Paul, came
into the yard. "What's up with her?"
"Her ****e has rolled between the sinks and she wants it back."
"What's she want it for?"
"She wants me to throw it so she can fetch it. Obviously."
"Oh, right. Any chance of a coffee?"

Bill

Talking of dogs chasing things ! :-)

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v...type=2&theater

remembers exactly why cats are preferred around here

Bill Wright wrote:

but the spherical turd having had such a good start had gone between
two Belfast sinks that have flowers in them.

Thank god she didn't catch it!

--
SteveT

You just don't understand the meaning of life to dogs do you?
dogs do often eat their turds and seem to have no ill effects, save bad
breath.
Brian

--
From the Sofa of Brian Gaff Reply address is active
"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...
Had to laugh this afternoon. Bella, the spaniel without a brain, decided
to take a crap half way up the steep drive, right in the middle. God alone
knows why she chose that spot, but she did. Her 'sister' Lola is always
very sensible in finding places to crap. She generally finds a nice
secluded spot in the shrubbery. This is quite unlike the sadly lost and
gone Toby, who was christened 'The Minister of Inappropriate Defecation'
when he had a post in the cabinet we created from all our animals. But
anyway, Bella produced a quite large, almost spherical turd which, from
the moment it saw the light of day on a concrete drive with a one in seven
slope, started to roll. Now the thing with Bella is, anything that even
vaguely resembles a ball on the move causes her give chase. She can't
resist. It's one of the very few things she can understand. See ball, must
chase. She was in trouble right through the autumn for stealing apples
from the tree by jumping up, then bringing them to any human who happened
to be around in the hope that they'd throw the apple away, so she could
chase it. As I write this she's just behind me, whining gently, apple
retrieved from the hiding place behind the settee and hopefully proffered
in case I feel like putting my coat on and going out into the yard and
throwing the damned thing for her. Any minute now she'll put the horrible
saliva-covered Bramley onto my lap, and bark at me, politely. But I
digress. Seeing the spherical turd rolling down the hill she very much
wanted to retrieve it -- that was obvious -- but the other end of her was
still crapping. With a mighty effort she expelled the remaining ****e and
set off down the hill, but the spherical turd having had such a good start
had gone between two Belfast sinks that have flowers in them. Bella
scrabbled at the gap, then sat down and barked at it. At that moment her
owner, Paul, came into the yard. "What's up with her?"
"Her ****e has rolled between the sinks and she wants it back."
"What's she want it for?"
"She wants me to throw it so she can fetch it. Obviously."
"Oh, right. Any chance of a coffee?"

Bill

Andy Cap wrote:

Talking of dogs chasing things ! :-)

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v...type=2&theater


That is fantastic. I want one.

Bill

If its fresh, its not so bad.
I did used to get a bit annoyed when my dog found a load of fresh fox
droppings then roled in them though.
Brian

--
From the Sofa of Brian Gaff Reply address is active
"Martin" wrote in message
...
and body full of parasites.

On Mon, 25 Nov 2013 09:29:11 -0000, "Brian Gaff"

wrote:

You just don't understand the meaning of life to dogs do you?
dogs do often eat their turds and seem to have no ill effects, save bad
breath.
Brian
--

Martin in Zuid Holland

Steve Thackery wrote:
Bill Wright wrote:

but the spherical turd having had such a good start had gone between
two Belfast sinks that have flowers in them.

Thank god she didn't catch it!


As she chased it part of me wanted to shout 'No!'. But I didn't shout
it. I mean, if you could stop a car crash would you? Honestly?

Bill

"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...
Had to laugh this afternoon. Bella, the spaniel without a brain, decided
to take a crap half way up the steep drive, right in the middle. God alone
knows why she chose that spot, but she did. Her 'sister' Lola is always
very sensible in finding places to crap. She generally finds a nice
secluded spot in the shrubbery. This is quite unlike the sadly lost and
gone Toby, who was christened 'The Minister of Inappropriate Defecation'
when he had a post in the cabinet we created from all our animals. But
anyway, Bella produced a quite large, almost spherical turd which, from
the moment it saw the light of day on a concrete drive with a one in seven
slope, started to roll. Now the thing with Bella is, anything that even
vaguely resembles a ball on the move causes her give chase. She can't
resist. It's one of the very few things she can understand. See ball, must
chase. She was in trouble right through the autumn for stealing apples
from the tree by jumping up, then bringing them to any human who happened
to be around in the hope that they'd throw the apple away, so she could
chase it. As I write this she's just behind me, whining gently, apple
retrieved from the hiding place behind the settee and hopefully proffered
in case I feel like putting my coat on and going out into the yard and
throwing the damned thing for her. Any minute now she'll put the horrible
saliva-covered Bramley onto my lap, and bark at me, politely.

Haven't you got one of those namby-pamby dog ball throwers? (Whose idea were
they?)

--
Max Demian

On Mon, 25 Nov 2013 08:12:25 +0000 (UTC), Adrian
wrote:

remembers exactly why cats are preferred around here

Ah, yes, cats (mostly) just **** where you can't see and usually in
somebody else's garden.
I have yet to venture out to look at the hole that's been dug in my
garden while I was away for a few days, but I suspect I'll find
decomposing stinking cat-****.