look around you this Christmas

My uncle is involved with a local initiative to persuade people to
consider the welfare of those who are lonely. We’ve discussed this quite
a lot, and then something happened today that brought the problem home
to me even more.

A very apologetic housing manager rung at lunchtime to ask if we could
possibly go out to one of the estates. He had only one complainant, but
‘he seems desperate’.

This would normally be Paul’s job, but he was at a get-together with his
mates, off I toddled. I wasn’t too happy, for a variety of reasons.

When I got to the estate I found that the complainant was alone in
several ways. He was alone in the flat and alone in the block, because
all the other flats on his stairway were boarded up. I won’t describe
the area in detail; let’s just say it was desperately rough; a nightmare
of a place.

The complainant wasn’t enjoying life. He was about 35, and things were
going badly for him. Two years ago the mental problems he’d had since
his teens had flared up. He soon lost his job at a joinery factory
because of it. His wife left him. Believe it or not his dog died. The
house was repossessed so he was given the flat — “take it or leave it”.
He did some casual work but couldn’t always bring himself to get on the
bus at the bus stop so he lost that job. The NHS seem to be doing what
they can – he had an armoury of drugs and was seeing a clinical
psychologist regularly. To me he kept repeating his personal litany –
‘depression, insomnia, agoraphobia, sleeplessness’. He was very fat, and
said that he’d put on three stone in a year.

Since then he’s lived alone, except now he has a five month old whippet
pup. Going out is difficult; going to town is impossible. He walks the
dog in the woods near the flat, which bizarrely is to him a ‘safe
place’. To me those woods are one of the most dangerous places in
England! He can’t go to the shops so his dad brings his groceries.

The loss of TV reception was to him a major disaster. He absolutely
couldn’t face going round to his dad’s for Christmas — ‘too many people;
can’t cope; I’m an embarrassment’ — so he was facing the festive season
sitting alone in the flat on that bleak estate, looking at the wall. His
dad had said that he’d call in when he could, but he had the rest of his
family to consider.

I won’t embarrass myself or you by repeating his words of absurd
gratitude when the telly started working again. But there were real
tears, which shows how much the telly meant to him, which in turns shows
how desperate was his situation.

As I drove away I felt terribly sad.

So anyway, the point of this message is, it isn’t only the elderly who
can be lonely and in need of help. So look around, and do your bit, eh?
Even if it’s only a five minute chat it’s better than nothing.

Bill

In article , says...

So anyway, the point of this message is, it isn?t only the elderly who
can be lonely and in need of help. So look around, and do your bit, eh?
Even if it?s only a five minute chat it?s better than nothing.

Bill

Christmas is an odd time of year because if you have a decent family and
good friends is it the best - nothing beats it. But for those who do not
have that it is sad, lonely and depressing, not least because the TV and
advertising magnifies the party and togetherness element of the time of
year.

On Dec 25, 1:32*am, Bill Wright wrote:

So anyway, the point of this message is, it isn’t only the elderly who
can be lonely and in need of help. So look around, and do your bit, eh?
Even if it’s only a five minute chat it’s better than nothing.

Bill

You're a gent, Bill. Thanks for this. Vulnerable people have it tough
in many different ways that most people wouldn't be aware of. As you
say, even a little gesture can make the difference. Cheers.

Not directly related, but similar:

Most people have a good streak in them.

1. I daily take the dog for a walk by the river in Cambridge.
One particular day, I was feeling down, angry - mostly work related.
That day 2 vans were parked there.
The first van was bringing a bunch of Downs, autism, etc kids for a
trip out. My situation immediately felt not so bad.
The 2nd van van had a few workers doing some maintenace on the lock.
I said to one of the workers: "When you see that, your problems don't
seem so bad, do they?"
He smiled and nodded in agreement.
The work these carers do needs supporting.

2. I was in Newmarket when an elderly, infirm lady was slowly crossing
the street. A young blonde, dolly in "hot hatch" blew her horn at her
- she was clearly in a big hurry.
Well, a bunch of "apparant yobs" started banging their hands on her
windscreen and shouted: "You'll be old yourself, one day."
I thought, well said, lads. I think and hope the driver reappraised
her response.

Anyway Bill, Well done on your contribution - espec at Christmas time.

In message , the watcher
writes
Not directly related, but similar:

Most people have a good streak in them.

1. I daily take the dog for a walk by the river in Cambridge.
One particular day, I was feeling down, angry - mostly work related.
That day 2 vans were parked there.
The first van was bringing a bunch of Downs, autism, etc kids for a
trip out. My situation immediately felt not so bad.
The 2nd van van had a few workers doing some maintenace on the lock.
I said to one of the workers: "When you see that, your problems don't
seem so bad, do they?"
He smiled and nodded in agreement.
The work these carers do needs supporting.

Very true, if anyone does want to support them then have a word with
your local social services, they are always short of foster and respite
carers, especially ones interested in special needs kids. It can be
stressful but also great fun as well.


Anyway Bill, Well done on your contribution - espec at Christmas time.

Indeed, good to hear.

--
Bill
( A different one )

On 25/12/2011 01:32, Bill Wright wrote:
My uncle is involved with a local initiative to persuade people to
consider the welfare of those who are lonely. We’ve discussed this quite
a lot, and then something happened today that brought the problem home
to me even more.

A very apologetic housing manager rung at lunchtime to ask if we could
possibly go out to one of the estates. He had only one complainant, but
‘he seems desperate’.

This would normally be Paul’s job, but he was at a get-together with his
mates, off I toddled. I wasn’t too happy, for a variety of reasons.

When I got to the estate I found that the complainant was alone in
several ways. He was alone in the flat and alone in the block, because
all the other flats on his stairway were boarded up. I won’t describe
the area in detail; let’s just say it was desperately rough; a nightmare
of a place.

The complainant wasn’t enjoying life. He was about 35, and things were
going badly for him. Two years ago the mental problems he’d had since
his teens had flared up. He soon lost his job at a joinery factory
because of it. His wife left him. Believe it or not his dog died. The
house was repossessed so he was given the flat — “take it or leave it”.
He did some casual work but couldn’t always bring himself to get on the
bus at the bus stop so he lost that job. The NHS seem to be doing what
they can – he had an armoury of drugs and was seeing a clinical
psychologist regularly. To me he kept repeating his personal litany –
‘depression, insomnia, agoraphobia, sleeplessness’. He was very fat, and
said that he’d put on three stone in a year.

Since then he’s lived alone, except now he has a five month old whippet
pup. Going out is difficult; going to town is impossible. He walks the
dog in the woods near the flat, which bizarrely is to him a ‘safe
place’. To me those woods are one of the most dangerous places in
England! He can’t go to the shops so his dad brings his groceries.

The loss of TV reception was to him a major disaster. He absolutely
couldn’t face going round to his dad’s for Christmas — ‘too many people;
can’t cope; I’m an embarrassment’ — so he was facing the festive season
sitting alone in the flat on that bleak estate, looking at the wall. His
dad had said that he’d call in when he could, but he had the rest of his
family to consider.

I won’t embarrass myself or you by repeating his words of absurd
gratitude when the telly started working again. But there were real
tears, which shows how much the telly meant to him, which in turns shows
how desperate was his situation.

As I drove away I felt terribly sad.

So anyway, the point of this message is, it isn’t only the elderly who
can be lonely and in need of help. So look around, and do your bit, eh?
Even if it’s only a five minute chat it’s better than nothing.

Bill

Bill, one of the most pathetic things I saw when I was a young TV tech
in the '70s was an old woman alone in her counsel flat with practically
no possessions other than the rented TV, the chair she sat in, and some
icons of her Roman Catholic faith.

Hung on the wall was a large notice written in felt tip, it was her "Will".
"In the event of my death", it began, and went on to give details about
a small sum of money she had deposited for her funeral.



--

Graham.

%Profound_observation%

In article ,
Bill Wright writes:
snip
As I drove away I felt terribly sad.

So anyway, the point of this message is, it isn’t only the elderly
who can be lonely and in need of help. So look around, and do
your bit, eh? Even if it’s only a five minute chat it’s better than
nothing.

Well done and well said.
--
John Hall
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism
by those who have not got it."
George Bernard Shaw

Bill Wright wrote:

.....

As I drove away I felt terribly sad.

So anyway, the point of this message is, it isn’t only the elderly
who can be lonely and in need of help. So look around, and do your
bit, eh? Even if it’s only a five minute chat it’s better than
nothing.

You're a good man, Bill.

--
Paul - xxx
"You know, all I wanna do is race .. and all I wanna do is win"
Mark Cavendish, World Champion 2011
BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2011

Paul - xxx wrote:
Bill Wright wrote:

....

As I drove away I felt terribly sad.

So anyway, the point of this message is, it isn’t only the elderly
who can be lonely and in need of help. So look around, and do your
bit, eh? Even if it’s only a five minute chat it’s better than
nothing.

You're a good man, Bill.
Thank you.

I'll be honest, I had this on my mind on Christmas morning, so I texted
the guy. Just a little maybe-rather-hopeless cheer-up message -- let's
hope things look up for you in the New Year etc. Needless to say he rung
back, so we had a bit of a chat about things. Apparently his dad was
going to go round for a while in the afternoon.

We're going to have to do some work on that estate in January, so maybe
I'll use his telly as the representative guinea pig for that block. From
our point of view it's useful to have someone who's likely to be at home
and likely to answer the door.

Bill

You're a good man, Bill.

He genuinely comes across as very good indeed in this thread and I applaud
him for it, however if you check out his rantings on race and religion
earlier this year, and indeed in the thread 'TOT Political correctness gone
mad (as they say)', you'll see that he has nasty extreme right wing views.
It seems that most people on here quite rightly, have respect for his
undoubted knowledge and experience in the aerial business, but tire of his
political views. Thankfully, he's been quiet on the ' I'm not racist,
but....' front lately.

phil