The public's unrealistic expectations

Bloody dentist says I've got to have more treatment. The odd thing is, I
react in a strange way to being in the dentist's chair. I get very drowsy
once he starts the treatment. Apparently it's some sort of defence
mechanism. Or something. I struggle to keep awake. If I do fall asleep the
dentist and the assistant both assume I'm in a coma or even dead and react
accordingly (no I don't mean they cheer) so I have to keep slightly awake if
I can. If the dentist asks me a question I'm buggered. That's apart from the
fact that he always asks a question after he's built an impressive scaffold
structure inside my gob. So first of all I have to rouse myself enough to
compose a reply, then I have to enunciate it through the metal work.

"I'm glad you've come in today Mr Wright. My daughter can't get her Freeview
box to work. She lives in a basement in the middle of Sheffield -- I mean it
ought to work in the city didn't it? -- it isn't as if she's out in the
wilds -- and she has a good aerial. It's one of those that stand on top of
the TV set. She got it from Argos and it was quite expensive, but apparently
it's the best type of aerial for digital. It's not just an ordinary aerial
you see, it has a power booser built in. You put batteries in it. It doesn't
seem to work though. Do you think it might be faulty or something?"

"Garr garr gurr gee gurr kheeerg buuur gaaar. Burgh krrrurg urgh guuung
derg."

"Oh I see. So she might need an outside aerial even in Sheffield? That's
surprising. Why's that then?"

"Gurr gerr gurr goo gurr khurg borgh gooor (dribble). Kargh brrrurg turgh
scurgh diongung derg. Grong."

"It all seems a lot of trouble. I saw some boosters in Argos. I think I'll
buy one and try that.That will be a booster and a boosted aerial. That's got
to work, surely."

"Greeeg durg burr" (translation: "Do what you ****ing like pal, just get
this ironmongery out of my gob").

Bill

On 22/02/2007 00:22, Bill Wright wrote:

"Garr garr gurr gee gurr kheeerg buuur gaaar. Burgh krrrurg urgh guuung
derg."

They do have a knack of translating from gobfullofmetal to English, for
added fun, test their reaction time by "accidentally" biting their
fingers by speaking when they're not expecting it :-)

"Andy Burns" wrote in message
...
On 22/02/2007 00:22, Bill Wright wrote:

"Garr garr gurr gee gurr kheeerg buuur gaaar. Burgh krrrurg urgh guuung
derg."

They do have a knack of translating from gobfullofmetal to English, for
added fun, test their reaction time by "accidentally" biting their fingers
by speaking when they're not expecting it :-)

Just remember you are prostrate in a chair, the dentist has drills,
hypodermics, and lots of sharp and pointy things all to hand - I think he
has the edge...

"R. Mark Clayton" wrote in message
...

"Andy Burns" wrote in message
...
On 22/02/2007 00:22, Bill Wright wrote:

"Garr garr gurr gee gurr kheeerg buuur gaaar. Burgh krrrurg urgh guuung
derg."

They do have a knack of translating from gobfullofmetal to English, for
added fun, test their reaction time by "accidentally" biting their
fingers by speaking when they're not expecting it :-)

Just remember you are prostrate in a chair, the dentist has drills,
hypodermics, and lots of sharp and pointy things all to hand - I think he
has the edge...

Ahh - but that reminds me of the oldie but goodie: You grab him by the
balls and utter the ultimate threat "We aren't going to hurt each other, are
we?"

Chas Gill wrote:
Ahh - but that reminds me of the oldie but goodie: You grab him by the
balls and utter the ultimate threat "We aren't going to hurt each other, are
we?"


And don't let go until he has finished writing out the bill ...

--
Adrian C

"Chas Gill" wrote in message
...

Ahh - but that reminds me of the oldie but goodie: You grab him by the
balls and utter the ultimate threat "We aren't going to hurt each other,
are
we?"

This thread is getting very sexist - my dentist is of the female gender so
what should I do?

Regards,

RodP (with good teeth fortunately)

"RodP" wrote in message
...

"Chas Gill" wrote in message
...

Ahh - but that reminds me of the oldie but goodie: You grab him by the
balls and utter the ultimate threat "We aren't going to hurt each other,
are
we?"

This thread is getting very sexist - my dentist is of the female gender so
what should I do?

Answers on a postcard to...

RodP wrote:

"Chas Gill" wrote in message
...

Ahh - but that reminds me of the oldie but goodie: You grab him by the
balls and utter the ultimate threat "We aren't going to hurt each other,
are
we?"

This thread is getting very sexist - my dentist is of the female gender so
what should I do?

Well obviously, switch to a male one! They'll be foisting male nurses on
us next!!!

G

RodP wrote:
This thread is getting very sexist - my dentist is of the female gender so
what should I do?

My last* dentist was a girl I was at school with, it was rather
disconcerting. My first reaction was "oh come one now, very funny....
can I see the real dentist now?" but as soon as I was in the chair under
all that intimidating equipment they have (you know, light bulbs and
stuff), I found myself feverishly wondering how nice I'd been to her at
school, and whether I might have ever inadvertently offended her or hurt
her feelings. All in all I'd advise against women in dentistry, its bad
for morale.

*before they threw me off their books, that is, for refusing to sign up
to some extortion scam they were running whereby you pay a huge monthly
fee to stay on their books and still have to pay the full private rate
for any treatment. As they say, never trust a man who wants to put his
hand in your mouth.

On 22 Feb, 17:55, Ben wrote:
(snip) As they say, never trust a man who wants to put his hand in your mouth.

Never heard that one before. I'll enjoy relaying that to my dentist
friend when I see him soon!