Would you BELIEVE it?

36 miles to a flats complex and what do I find? The lady had complained that
satellite didn't work. Sure enough, No Signal Was Being Received. A quick
look over the back of the settee at the wallplate established the existence
of a splitter on the satellite flylead. I queried the presence of such a
thing. "Oh, my son did it so I can have a satellite box in the bedroom as
well, but it isn't that."
"I think it might be."
"No it's the dish you put on the roof. I had Sky out and the man looked at
the picture -- it said there was no signal, just like it does now -- and he
said the dish was facing the wrong way. I had to pay £60."
"How long was he here?"
"He was in and out like a shot."
"Did he look behind here?"
"No, like I said he just looked at the picture and went. He said the dish
must be [blah blah blah]"
As it happened the polarity switches on the system pass little or no signal
when there's no volts on the coax, and the splitter had no DC pass. I
removed it and then noticed that the flylead was home made and was RG59. I
replaced it. I then power cycled the box and hey presto, 'Welcome to Sky'
appeared. I demonstrated the operation of the Sky box and asked the lady if
her son had checked reception on the two Sky boxes. "Yes, but it wouldn't
work in the bedroom -- he got it off that Baywatch thing on tinternet -- so
he took it home."
"But didn't you notice that it stopped working in the living room?"
"Well yes it did stop working a few days after so I rung Sky."
A few days after, my arse.

That was one of them sorted. Next, a very agressive lady of about 60 who
said that since she bought a Freeview box the picture had been dark, so the
aerial must have damaged her set. For ****'s sake lady! The freeview box
didn't work either, and that was my fault as well because the man she'd
bought it off had said so when he'd brought the box. She'd paid him an extra
£20 to install it. He had shown her the message 'No Signal' on the telly
then took the money and ran, having blamed the aerial for the lack of
reception. To my astonishment the aerial was connected to the VCR, then
looped to the telly, with no connection to the Freeview box. OK, here's my
theory. This particular building has lifts that work about two days out of
three. I reckon our found himself on level 8 without a male-to-female aerial
flylead on a liftless day. Maybe he hadn't even got one in the van. So he
decided to cut and run. I deceded not to bother explaing all this because
she really was a ghastly old cow, going on and on about how the aerial had
made the telly dark, interrupting whenever I spoke, and saying "So you say!"
in an offensively mocking manner whenever I did manage to explain anything
to her. I picked up the remote for the telly and found that the menu button
didn't work. However I found a button with a novel symbol on it that cycled
between three brightness levels. I switched to the brightest setting. I
showed the lady how to operate the button and she said "That's all very well
but why did the aerial make it dark in the first place?"
"I think it was more likely the bloke who brought the Freeview box," I
replied. "He must have done a bit of random button pressing."
"So you say!" she rejoined. I normally have a very tolerant attitude, and I
spend a lot of time showing people how to work their telly and their various
boxes with no chance of reward except possibly in Heaven, but I'd had it up
to here with this old bag. As I headed for the door she started to ask me
how to work the Freeview box. I suggested that she rung the gentleman who'd
sold it to her, and went on my way.

Bill

Bill Wright wrote:
36 miles to a flats complex and what do I find? The lady had
complained that satellite didn't work. Sure enough, No Signal Was
Being Received. A quick look over the back of the settee at the
wallplate established the existence of a splitter on the satellite
flylead. I queried the presence of such a thing. "Oh, my son did it
so I can have a satellite box in the bedroom as well, but it isn't
that." "I think it might be."
"No it's the dish you put on the roof. I had Sky out and the man
looked at the picture -- it said there was no signal, just like it
does now -- and he said the dish was facing the wrong way. I had to
pay £60." "How long was he here?"
"He was in and out like a shot."
"Did he look behind here?"
"No, like I said he just looked at the picture and went. He said the
dish must be [blah blah blah]"
As it happened the polarity switches on the system pass little or no
signal when there's no volts on the coax, and the splitter had no DC
pass. I removed it and then noticed that the flylead was home made
and was RG59. I replaced it. I then power cycled the box and hey
presto, 'Welcome to Sky' appeared. I demonstrated the operation of
the Sky box and asked the lady if her son had checked reception on
the two Sky boxes. "Yes, but it wouldn't work in the bedroom -- he
got it off that Baywatch thing on tinternet -- so he took it home."
"But didn't you notice that it stopped working in the living room?"
"Well yes it did stop working a few days after so I rung Sky."
A few days after, my arse.

That was one of them sorted. Next, a very agressive lady of about 60
who said that since she bought a Freeview box the picture had been
dark, so the aerial must have damaged her set. For ****'s sake lady!
The freeview box didn't work either, and that was my fault as well
because the man she'd bought it off had said so when he'd brought the
box. She'd paid him an extra £20 to install it. He had shown her the
message 'No Signal' on the telly then took the money and ran, having
blamed the aerial for the lack of reception. To my astonishment the
aerial was connected to the VCR, then looped to the telly, with no
connection to the Freeview box. OK, here's my theory. This particular
building has lifts that work about two days out of three. I reckon
our found himself on level 8 without a male-to-female aerial flylead
on a liftless day. Maybe he hadn't even got one in the van. So he
decided to cut and run. I deceded not to bother explaing all this
because she really was a ghastly old cow, going on and on about how
the aerial had made the telly dark, interrupting whenever I spoke,
and saying "So you say!" in an offensively mocking manner whenever I
did manage to explain anything to her. I picked up the remote for the
telly and found that the menu button didn't work. However I found a
button with a novel symbol on it that cycled between three brightness
levels. I switched to the brightest setting. I showed the lady how to
operate the button and she said "That's all very well but why did the
aerial make it dark in the first place?" "I think it was more likely
the bloke who brought the Freeview box," I replied. "He must have
done a bit of random button pressing." "So you say!" she rejoined. I
normally have a very tolerant attitude, and I spend a lot of time
showing people how to work their telly and their various boxes with
no chance of reward except possibly in Heaven, but I'd had it up to
here with this old bag. As I headed for the door she started to ask
me how to work the Freeview box. I suggested that she rung the
gentleman who'd sold it to her, and went on my way.



It was ever thus though Bill, even 40 plus years ago I remember a not
uncommon complaint from a customer might run something along the lines of..
"we don't want that bloke 'ere again, he didn't know what he was doing, he
had to get a chart out to see how the telly worked and he was 'ere over an
hour changing bits with his soldering iron thingy, we always ask for Steve,
he gets it working in five minutes, 'cause he knows this telly inside out
and exactly what picture valve to change"...


Bill

And she has one vote just like you!

Mind you Tone is getting very concerned at the number of over 60's who
aren't computer literate.

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"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...
36 miles to a flats complex and what do I find? The lady had complained
that satellite didn't work. Sure enough, No Signal Was Being Received. A
quick look over the back of the settee at the wallplate established the
existence of a splitter on the satellite flylead. I queried the presence
of such a thing. "Oh, my son did it so I can have a satellite box in the
bedroom as well, but it isn't that."
"I think it might be."
"No it's the dish you put on the roof. I had Sky out and the man looked at
the picture -- it said there was no signal, just like it does now -- and
he said the dish was facing the wrong way. I had to pay £60."
"How long was he here?"
"He was in and out like a shot."
"Did he look behind here?"
"No, like I said he just looked at the picture and went. He said the dish
must be [blah blah blah]"
As it happened the polarity switches on the system pass little or no
signal when there's no volts on the coax, and the splitter had no DC pass.
I removed it and then noticed that the flylead was home made and was RG59.
I replaced it. I then power cycled the box and hey presto, 'Welcome to
Sky' appeared. I demonstrated the operation of the Sky box and asked the
lady if her son had checked reception on the two Sky boxes. "Yes, but it
wouldn't work in the bedroom -- he got it off that Baywatch thing on
tinternet -- so he took it home."
"But didn't you notice that it stopped working in the living room?"
"Well yes it did stop working a few days after so I rung Sky."
A few days after, my arse.

That was one of them sorted. Next, a very agressive lady of about 60 who
said that since she bought a Freeview box the picture had been dark, so
the aerial must have damaged her set. For ****'s sake lady! The freeview
box didn't work either, and that was my fault as well because the man
she'd bought it off had said so when he'd brought the box. She'd paid him
an extra £20 to install it. He had shown her the message 'No Signal' on
the telly then took the money and ran, having blamed the aerial for the
lack of reception. To my astonishment the aerial was connected to the VCR,
then looped to the telly, with no connection to the Freeview box. OK,
here's my theory. This particular building has lifts that work about two
days out of three. I reckon our found himself on level 8 without a
male-to-female aerial flylead on a liftless day. Maybe he hadn't even got
one in the van. So he decided to cut and run. I deceded not to bother
explaing all this because she really was a ghastly old cow, going on and
on about how the aerial had made the telly dark, interrupting whenever I
spoke, and saying "So you say!" in an offensively mocking manner whenever
I did manage to explain anything to her. I picked up the remote for the
telly and found that the menu button didn't work. However I found a button
with a novel symbol on it that cycled between three brightness levels. I
switched to the brightest setting. I showed the lady how to operate the
button and she said "That's all very well but why did the aerial make it
dark in the first place?"
"I think it was more likely the bloke who brought the Freeview box," I
replied. "He must have done a bit of random button pressing."
"So you say!" she rejoined. I normally have a very tolerant attitude, and
I spend a lot of time showing people how to work their telly and their
various boxes with no chance of reward except possibly in Heaven, but I'd
had it up to here with this old bag. As I headed for the door she started
to ask me how to work the Freeview box. I suggested that she rung the
gentleman who'd sold it to her, and went on my way.

Bill


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"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...

snip stories of customers

The first lady I have some sympathy with. Most people have no knowledge of
electronics and indeed they shouldn't need much beyond basic safety.

Sky should refund the £60, as the guy gave the wrong diagnosis.
I would write a brief letter explaining this so the lady can press for this.

The aggressive lady I have no sympathy with.

She's obviously hacked off about having a problem, and wants to take it out
on someone and doesn't really care who's fault it is.

Personally I would have plugged the aerial into the TV, adjusted the
brightness, and said "look: aerial and TV working, anything else is not my
responsibility".

I imagine you've been installing aerials since way before cable TV boxes
came out, a fact you might point out to the old bag.


Sigh.

Many people have noted the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting
poorer.

I reckon the smart are getting smarter and the thick are getting thicker.

For example, smart people develop video cameras, mobile phones and the
internet, and at the other extreme people use them to record assaults and
decapitations.


Even aerial installers are not immune. I had one guy round to quote for an
aerial and running cables to several rooms.
"No problem, I can split the cable and bind it with electrical tape".
"Erm, wouldn't a splitter box and proper connectors be better?"
"Nah".

He didn't get the job!

Amazing that people will pay thousands for the latest flat screen TV, then
pay a guy like that 80 quid to erect a puny aerial costing 3 quid.

I eventually paid 80 quid for a decent aerial and mounted it in the loft.
The extra sensitivity made up for attenuation due to wet roof tiles on rainy
days.

In message , Gendy
wrote
And she has one vote just like you!

Mind you Tone is getting very concerned at the number of over 60's who
aren't computer literate.


Probably the percentage of over 60s that are not computer literate is
similar to the number of school leavers that cannot read and rite!


--
Alan
news2006 {at} amac {dot} f2s {dot} com

"Alan" wrote in message
...
In message , Gendy
wrote
And she has one vote just like you!

Mind you Tone is getting very concerned at the number of over 60's who
aren't computer literate.


Probably the percentage of over 60s that are not computer literate is
similar to the number of school leavers that cannot read and rite!


--
Alan
news2006 {at} amac {dot} f2s {dot} com
Quote
similar to the number of school leavers that cannot read and rite!
End Quote

RITE! It's WRITE boy!
You one of them then?

[email protected]

"Kryten" wrote in message
...
"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...

snip stories of customers

The first lady I have some sympathy with. Most people have no knowledge of
electronics and indeed they shouldn't need much beyond basic safety.

Sky should refund the £60, as the guy gave the wrong diagnosis.
I would write a brief letter explaining this so the lady can press for
this.

I charge money for writing letters. It wouldn't be worth her while. In fact
she'd loose out. But yes, she was a victim of the system.


The aggressive lady I have no sympathy with.

She's obviously hacked off about having a problem, and wants to take it
out on someone and doesn't really care who's fault it is.

Look I'll tell you what it was about her. When I go in a council flat or a
prison cell and the person is young, underpriviliged, not too brainy, let
down by the education system, they can slag me off and I don't mind because
they don't know any better. But this old bird was in a 400k flat with a huge
living room (an acre of white carpet). She was well spoken and wealthy. The
fact is, she was just ****ing ignorant about how to behave. She had no
respect for me because she saw me as a 'workman' -- lower than low. I bet
she wonders why every 'workman' gives her such surly service. It isn't hard
love -- just treat people like human beings, make them a cuppa and get the
best out of them. Fancy living 60 years and not learning that! As it
happened the managing agent came in and she treated him a bit better -- she
saw him as a 'professional'. But she still looked down on him. I bet when
she sees the doctor she lays on her back and gets him to scratch her belly.
Snobbish cow. I have customers who have had money for generations and they
are fine -- they treat me OK -- it's these jumped-up ones who are the worst.
What some of these people need to learn is that we're all human beings who
respond appropriately, depending on how we're treated.


Many people have noted the rich are getting richer and the poor are
getting poorer.

I reckon the smart are getting smarter and the thick are getting thicker.

For example, smart people develop video cameras, mobile phones and the
internet, and at the other extreme people use them to record assaults and
decapitations.

Yes, but it's very cheering how people who have been let down by the
education industry sometimes find IT a doddle. I love it when I hear alleged
'thickies' discussing their wireless networks etc.



Even aerial installers are not immune.

Nay lad!

I had one guy round to quote for an aerial and running cables to several
rooms.
"No problem, I can split the cable and bind it with electrical tape".
So he was a good one. CAI member?


Amazing that people will pay thousands for the latest flat screen TV, then
pay a guy like that 80 quid to erect a puny aerial costing 3 quid.
£2.60.

Bill

In article ,
says...
snip
As I headed for the door she started to ask me
how to work the Freeview box. I suggested that she rung the gentleman who'd
sold it to her, and went on my way.

This is like the TV installer's equivalent of Radio 4's Ed Reardon's Week.

Love it!
--

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"Monkey Hanger" wrote in message
...

"Alan" wrote in message
...
In message , Gendy
wrote
And she has one vote just like you!

Mind you Tone is getting very concerned at the number of over 60's who
aren't computer literate.


Probably the percentage of over 60s that are not computer literate is
similar to the number of school leavers that cannot read and rite!


--
Alan
news2006 {at} amac {dot} f2s {dot} com
Quote
similar to the number of school leavers that cannot read and rite!
End Quote

RITE! It's WRITE boy!
You one of them then?

[email protected]

Alan misspelt the word intentionally to emphasise his point oh sad Geoff of
York!

"Monkey Hanger" wrote in message
...
Quote
similar to the number of school leavers that cannot read and rite!
End Quote

RITE! It's WRITE boy!
You one of them then?

Irony not a strong point with you, then?