TOT The wit and wisdom of Ben, 3.
 

Ben recently went on a trip round a stately home. On the way home he
said, "Mummy, why is our house so small?"
A few days later when driving past a huge block of dingy Doncaster
council flats: "Look Mummy! A stately home!"
Then, when driving down a street of terraced houses in Balby, "Mummy,
why are all the houses stuck together?"

Bill

TOT The wit and wisdom of Ben, 3.
 

They stick together for warmth of course. I'd hardly call most buildings in
recent times stately, I suppose it depends on the nature of your experience.


Brian

--
From the Sofa of Brian Gaff Reply address is active
"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...
Ben recently went on a trip round a stately home. On the way home he said,
"Mummy, why is our house so small?"
A few days later when driving past a huge block of dingy Doncaster council
flats: "Look Mummy! A stately home!"
Then, when driving down a street of terraced houses in Balby, "Mummy, why
are all the houses stuck together?"

Bill

TOT The wit and wisdom of Ben, 3.
 

Martin wrote:

When my son was in his early teens we used to drag him around stately
homes, until we discovered that he was writing "BORING RUBBISH" in the
visitors book.

When I was 12 our whole family was thrown out of some ancient pile
because I told a bloke who moaned about my dog having a **** on the
lovely lawn to **** off.

Bill

TOT The wit and wisdom of Ben, 3.
 

In article ,
Martin wrote:

On Thu, 16 May 2013 10:49:31 +0100, Bill Wright
wrote:

Martin wrote:

When my son was in his early teens we used to drag him around stately
homes, until we discovered that he was writing "BORING RUBBISH" in the
visitors book.

When I was 12 our whole family was thrown out of some ancient pile
because I told a bloke who moaned about my dog having a **** on the
lovely lawn to **** off.

LOL I always wondered if that would happen to us.
We were kicked out of a pub in Kent after six of us had been served
meals and drinks when the publican spotted our two kids were tiny
tots. We drank the beer quickly and left without paying. In the North
of England we were only once thrown out of a pub, the one in Goathland
used in Heartbeat. The new owner made a big issue about our kids being
in their teens. He kicked out other families who were there with under
age children. Both our kids had eaten or accompanied us there almost
since they were born. We had a friend who owned a house that we
borrowed on the other side of the road.

On a family holiday to Cyprus many years ago, my niece who was then a
toddler, was feeling grumpy and tired after a long flight and long
bus-ride. As we were waiting in the check-in queue at the hotel, she
pointed at a waiter said in a very carrying voice "Mummy, can one of
those servants get me a drink?". Bless.

--
Sara

cats cats cats cats cats

TOT The wit and wisdom of Ben, 3.
 

Martin wrote:
On Thu, 16 May 2013 10:49:31 +0100, Bill Wright
wrote:

Martin wrote:

When my son was in his early teens we used to drag him around stately
homes, until we discovered that he was writing "BORING RUBBISH" in the
visitors book.
When I was 12 our whole family was thrown out of some ancient pile
because I told a bloke who moaned about my dog having a **** on the
lovely lawn to **** off.

LOL I always wondered if that would happen to us.
We were kicked out of a pub in Kent after six of us had been served
meals and drinks when the publican spotted our two kids were tiny
tots. We drank the beer quickly and left without paying. In the North
of England we were only once thrown out of a pub, the one in Goathland
used in Heartbeat. The new owner made a big issue about our kids being
in their teens. He kicked out other families who were there with under
age children. Both our kids had eaten or accompanied us there almost
since they were born. We had a friend who owned a house that we
borrowed on the other side of the road.

Me and Hil were banned from a pub once because the publican had been
caught in flagrante delicto with a barmaid by his wife. The wife had had
sacked the barmaid (she owned the pub; well, it was her dad's really)
and stormed off. Our daughter saw the publican (who was about 40) in a
club trying to pick a young lass up. She took the ****, so we were
banned! A week later the publican was gone, given the boot by his father
in law.

After my mother died we were having a family meeting in a 'quiet' pub
when the locals rolled in and put the telly on full blast. It was right
next to us. We asked them to turn it down and they wouldn't so I snook
out and cut the aerial wire. Trouble is someone spotted me and all hell
broke loose.

Bill

TOT The wit and wisdom of Ben, 3.
 

Bill Wright wrote:
Martin wrote:
On Thu, 16 May 2013 10:49:31 +0100, Bill Wright
wrote:

Martin wrote:

When my son was in his early teens we used to drag him around
stately homes, until we discovered that he was writing "BORING
RUBBISH" in the visitors book.
When I was 12 our whole family was thrown out of some ancient pile
because I told a bloke who moaned about my dog having a **** on the
lovely lawn to **** off.

LOL I always wondered if that would happen to us.
We were kicked out of a pub in Kent after six of us had been served
meals and drinks when the publican spotted our two kids were tiny
tots. We drank the beer quickly and left without paying. In the North
of England we were only once thrown out of a pub, the one in
Goathland used in Heartbeat. The new owner made a big issue about
our kids being in their teens. He kicked out other families who were
there with under age children. Both our kids had eaten or
accompanied us there almost since they were born. We had a friend
who owned a house that we borrowed on the other side of the road.

Me and Hil were banned from a pub once because the publican had been
caught in flagrante delicto with a barmaid by his wife. The wife had
had sacked the barmaid (she owned the pub; well, it was her dad's
really) and stormed off. Our daughter saw the publican (who was about
40) in a club trying to pick a young lass up. She took the ****, so
we were banned! A week later the publican was gone, given the boot by
his father in law.

After my mother died we were having a family meeting in a 'quiet' pub
when the locals rolled in and put the telly on full blast. It was
right next to us. We asked them to turn it down and they wouldn't so
I snook out and cut the aerial wire. Trouble is someone spotted me
and all hell broke loose.

Thus proving the old adage that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

TOT The wit and wisdom of Ben, 3.
 

Norman Wells wrote:

After my mother died we were having a family meeting in a 'quiet' pub
when the locals rolled in and put the telly on full blast. It was
right next to us. We asked them to turn it down and they wouldn't so
I snook out and cut the aerial wire. Trouble is someone spotted me
and all hell broke loose.

Thus proving the old adage that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

No, I have a lot of knowledge in that area. So a lot of knowledge can be
dangerous as well.

Bill

TOT The wit and wisdom of Ben, 3.
 

Bill Wright wrote:
Norman Wells wrote:

After my mother died we were having a family meeting in a 'quiet'
pub when the locals rolled in and put the telly on full blast. It
was right next to us. We asked them to turn it down and they
wouldn't so I snook out and cut the aerial wire. Trouble is someone
spotted me and all hell broke loose.

Thus proving the old adage that a little knowledge is a dangerous
thing.

No, I have a lot of knowledge in that area. So a lot of knowledge can
be dangerous as well.

You mean, thus proving the little adage that old knowledge is a
dangerous thing?

TOT The wit and wisdom of Ben, 3.
 

Bill Wright wrote:
Norman Wells wrote:

After my mother died we were having a family meeting in a 'quiet'
pub when the locals rolled in and put the telly on full blast. It
was right next to us. We asked them to turn it down and they
wouldn't so I snook out and cut the aerial wire. Trouble is someone
spotted me and all hell broke loose.

Thus proving the old adage that a little knowledge is a dangerous
thing.

No, I have a lot of knowledge in that area. So a lot of knowledge can
be dangerous as well.
Bill

Then you should have known the best way is to put a pin through the coax
and cut the ends off. Shorts out the coax which looks OK and is very
difficult to find ;-)

Steve Terry
--
Get a free GiffGaff PAYG Sim and £5 bonus after activation at:
http://giffgaff.com/orders/affiliate/gfourwwk

TOT The wit and wisdom of Ben, 3.
 

Norman Wells wrote:
Bill Wright wrote:
Norman Wells wrote:

After my mother died we were having a family meeting in a 'quiet'
pub when the locals rolled in and put the telly on full blast. It
was right next to us. We asked them to turn it down and they
wouldn't so I snook out and cut the aerial wire. Trouble is someone
spotted me and all hell broke loose.

Thus proving the old adage that a little knowledge is a dangerous
thing.

No, I have a lot of knowledge in that area. So a lot of knowledge can
be dangerous as well.

You mean, thus proving the little adage that old knowledge is a
dangerous thing?
We have a family tradition of cutting wires that are annoying us. There
have been quite a few incidents.

Bill