| Page 1 of 2 | 1 | 2 |
|
|
|
TOT G & A & a lab
BROWN, DARLING AND A DOG Gordon Brown called Alastair Darling into his office one day and said, 'Alastair , I have a great idea!? We are going to go all out to win back Middle England '. 'Good idea PM, how will we go about it?' said Darling. 'Well' said Brown 'we'll get ourselves two of those long Barbour coats, some proper wellies, a stick and a flat cap, Oh and a Labrador . Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a nice old country pub, in Much Something or other and we'll show we really enjoy the countryside, .......... Oh! and remember not to mention the Hunting With Dogs Act' 'Right PM' said Darling. So a few days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Labrador at heel, they set off from London . Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a lovely country pub and, with the dog, went in and up to the bar. 'Good evening Landlord, two pints of your best ale, from the wood please' said Brown 'Good evening, Prime Minister' said the landlord, 'two pints of best it is, coming up' Brown and Darling stood leaning on the bar contemplating new taxes, nodding now and again to those who came in for a drink, whilst the dog lay quietly at their feet. As they drank their beer they chatted about how heart-rending it was that pensioners were being imprisoned for not paying the council tax. All of a sudden the door from the adjacent bar opened & in came a grizzled old shepherd, complete with crook. He walked up to the Labrador lifted its tail and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar. A few moments later, in came a wizened farmer who followed the same procedure, to the bewilderment of Brown and Darling. People of all ages and gender followed suit over the next hour. Eventually, unable to stand it any longer, Darling called the landlord over. 'Tell me' said Darling, 'Why did all those people come in and look under the dog's tail like that??? Is it an old country custom? 'Good Lord no,' said the landlord. 'It's just that someone has told them that there was a Labrador in this bar with two arseholes' -- Ophelia Phanjephlapps "come up and see me - make me smile" |
TOT G & A & a lab
"Ophelia Phanjephlapps" wrote in message ... BROWN, DARLING AND A DOG Gordon Brown called Alastair Darling into his office one day and said, 'Alastair , I have a great idea!? We are going to go all out to win back Middle England '. 'Good idea PM, how will we go about it?' said Darling. 'Well' said Brown 'we'll get ourselves two of those long Barbour coats, some proper wellies, a stick and a flat cap, Oh and a Labrador . Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a nice old country pub, in Much Something or other and we'll show we really enjoy the countryside, .......... Oh! and remember not to mention the Hunting With Dogs Act' 'Right PM' said Darling. So a few days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Labrador at heel, they set off from London . Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a lovely country pub and, with the dog, went in and up to the bar. 'Good evening Landlord, two pints of your best ale, from the wood please' said Brown 'Good evening, Prime Minister' said the landlord, 'two pints of best it is, coming up' Brown and Darling stood leaning on the bar contemplating new taxes, nodding now and again to those who came in for a drink, whilst the dog lay quietly at their feet. As they drank their beer they chatted about how heart-rending it was that pensioners were being imprisoned for not paying the council tax. All of a sudden the door from the adjacent bar opened & in came a grizzled old shepherd, complete with crook. He walked up to the Labrador lifted its tail and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar. A few moments later, in came a wizened farmer who followed the same procedure, to the bewilderment of Brown and Darling. People of all ages and gender followed suit over the next hour. Eventually, unable to stand it any longer, Darling called the landlord over. 'Tell me' said Darling, 'Why did all those people come in and look under the dog's tail like that??? Is it an old country custom? 'Good Lord no,' said the landlord. 'It's just that someone has told them that there was a Labrador in this bar with two arseholes' Barbour coats? Isn't Gannex still making them, somewhere on Bill Wrights patch? -- Graham. %Profound_observation% |
TOT G & A & a lab
|
TOT G & A & a lab
In article , Brian Gaff
wrote: Just remember that Gordon only has one real eye so he can turn a blind eye literally. Never mind. At least he has one more brain than Cameron. Though to be honest what really scares me is the thought that Osbourne might get to be Chancellor! Slainte, Jim -- Please use the address on the audiomisc page if you wish to email me. Electronics http://www.st-and.ac.uk/~www_pa/Scot...o/electron.htm Armstrong Audio http://www.audiomisc.co.uk/Armstrong/armstrong.html Audio Misc http://www.audiomisc.co.uk/index.html |
TOT G & A & a lab
In article ,
Jim Lesurf wrote: In article , Brian Gaff wrote: Just remember that Gordon only has one real eye so he can turn a blind eye literally. Never mind. At least he has one more brain than Cameron. Though to be honest what really scares me is the thought that Osbourne might get to be Chancellor! They might go down in history for turning such a large advantage in opinion polls into such a small one in record time... -- *What was the best thing before sliced bread? Dave Plowman London SW To e-mail, change noise into sound. |
TOT G & A & a lab
On 13 Mar, 09:43, "Dave Plowman (News)" wrote:
In article , * *Jim Lesurf wrote: In article , Brian Gaff wrote: Just remember that Gordon only has one real eye so he can turn a blind eye literally. Never mind. At least he has one more brain than Cameron. Though to be honest what really scares me is the thought that Osbourne might get to be Chancellor! They might go down in history for turning such a large advantage in opinion polls into such a small one in record time... -- *What was the best thing before sliced bread? * * Dave Plowman * * * * * * * * London SW * * * * * * * * * To e-mail, change noise into sound. There are plenty of forums for political discussion and others for jokes. There's nothing offensive about any of this, but it is utterly off subject. I''m sure, from a technical point of view that people will be able to comment extensively about this "tele/presidential" election and no doubt the way in which the politicians will be seeking to hijack the questions and issues from the public, because all said and done there's barely a hares breath of policy difference between most of them. UK.tech.digital-tv is not the place for hypothetical bar jokes whether they are good bad or indifferent. |
TOT G & A & a lab
In article
, galaxyguy wrote: There are plenty of forums for political discussion and others for jokes. There's nothing offensive about any of this, but it is utterly off subject. I''m sure, from a technical point of view that people will be able to comment extensively about this "tele/presidential" election and no doubt the way in which the politicians will be seeking to hijack the questions and issues from the public, because all said and done there's barely a hares breath of policy difference between most of them. UK.tech.digital-tv is not the place for hypothetical bar jokes whether they are good bad or indifferent. I'd suggest you put 'OT' and 'TOT' in your newsreader filter. Would have saved you the bother of writing this - which no one will heed anyway. -- *If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Dave Plowman London SW To e-mail, change noise into sound. |
TOT G & A & a lab
Just remember that Gordon only has one real eye so he can turn a blind eye literally. Never mind. At least he has one more brain than Cameron. Though to be honest what really scares me is the thought that Osbourne might get to be Chancellor! They might go down in history for turning such a large advantage in opinion polls into such a small one in record time... -- *What was the best thing before sliced bread? Dave Plowman London SW To e-mail, change noise into sound. There are plenty of forums for political discussion and others for jokes. There's nothing offensive about any of this, but it is utterly off subject. I''m sure, from a technical point of view that people will be able to comment extensively about this "tele/presidential" election and no doubt the way in which the politicians will be seeking to hijack the questions and issues from the public, because all said and done there's barely a hares breath of policy difference between most of them. UK.tech.digital-tv is not the place for hypothetical bar jokes whether they are good bad or indifferent. Well, strictly speaking, I suppose. He constitutes in an intelligent way to this group using the name housetrained, for a West Ham fan ;-) The OT posts on this group make it worth subscribing to, I suppose there is the danger that too many could scupper the group, but thus so far that hasn't happened. -- Graham. %Profound_observation% |
TOT G & A & a lab
In article , Graham.
wrote: Just remember that Gordon only has one real eye so he can turn a blind eye literally. Never mind. At least he has one more brain than Cameron. Though to be honest what really scares me is the thought that Osbourne might get to be Chancellor! They might go down in history for turning such a large advantage in opinion polls into such a small one in record time... -- *What was the best thing before sliced bread? Dave Plowman London SW To e-mail, change noise into sound. There are plenty of forums for political discussion and others for jokes. There's nothing offensive about any of this, but it is utterly off subject. I''m sure, from a technical point of view that people will be able to comment extensively about this "tele/presidential" election and no doubt the way in which the politicians will be seeking to hijack the questions and issues from the public, because all said and done there's barely a hares breath of policy difference between most of them. UK.tech.digital-tv is not the place for hypothetical bar jokes whether they are good bad or indifferent. Well, strictly speaking, I suppose. He constitutes in an intelligent way to this group using the name housetrained, for a West Ham fan ;-) The OT posts on this group make it worth subscribing to, I suppose there is the danger that too many could scupper the group, but thus so far that hasn't happened. Curious that "galaxyguy" puts on a 'net police' uniform about this whilst ignoring the discussions of SETI antenna designs, content of Horizon programmes, etc... *and* adds his own 'political' views in the process. Wonder if this is an example of the doublethink that often causes Conservative voters to insist that *their* views are 'non political'... :-) I agree this is all TOT, though. Hence the title of the thread. FWIW I agree that in many ways the Tories and New Labour are pretty similar in policy terms. But the distinctions are 1) I think that Brown/Darling have an understanding about dealing with the present economic situation - whereas I doubt that Cameron/Osbourne can count beyond 20 between them without taking their socks off or asking a PR hack or a focus group. Their flip-flops on how to deal with the situation and their current cluelessness about how to try and avoid dropping the ball should they get in are quite alarming. 2) Cameron just looks to me like a frantic "Tony Blair clone with a blue tie might get us elected". i.e. all "I'm a nice kinda guy" and no substance whereas I can't see Brown as a clone of Blair at all. Different kettle of fish entirely. I also agree this could all end in tears by bedtime if people get annoyed that someone else doesn't like their views. So I'll now duck out... 8-] Slainte, Jim -- Please use the address on the audiomisc page if you wish to email me. Electronics http://www.st-and.ac.uk/~www_pa/Scot...o/electron.htm Armstrong Audio http://www.audiomisc.co.uk/Armstrong/armstrong.html Audio Misc http://www.audiomisc.co.uk/index.html |
| All times are GMT +1. The time now is 03:47 PM. |
|
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
HomeCinemaBanter.com