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Rigger's Diary: up all night
The calls started to come in at about ten in the morning, all from the same
complex of flats. The complex has eleven blocks and is quite spread out. It's in a very bad place for TV reception, at the bottom of a valley, so there's one big TV system based on the communal facilities building. As an aside, the analogue reception is from Belmont and the DTT is from Emley Moor. C5 analogue is from Waltham, and is not very good. The general theme of the messages was that there was a problem with TV reception, but other than that they had nothing in common. As well as not presenting any sort of pattern the calls came by many different routes. Some came from the warden, some were from the emergency call-out office, some were from the ordinary call centre, some were from the local housing office, and some were from tenants. Some were by phone, some were by email, and one was a fax. I looked out of the window, half expecting to see a messenger running up the drive with a message in a cleft stick. Pigeons circled overhead, but none landed. The smoke on the horizon was just the gypsies burning the pvc off some copper cables, as they normally do. "No-one in our block has had any TV for a week." "I can only get TV through the video, you know, things I've recorded." "It went off ten minutes ago." "We've had another lightning strike, I think." "It went off on ITV this morning while I was watching it but the others probably went off last night. I haven't tried them today." "There are men working on the factory roof next door, and its affecting our reception. It always does." "The wires are hanging down outside my window -- they've been like that a year now -- and my TV has gone off this morning." The calls were from all over the site, so it had to be the head-end. The majority of these faults are caused by failures of the electricty supply, so I made a phone call. "Are you guys working at Mansfield Park at the moment Harold?" "Yes indeedy! We commenced this very morn young sir! Indeed we are doing a complete rewire of the commooonal facility, no less! My merry men are there now." He can't help it. "Ah ha! That might be why all the tellys have gone off. The main gubbins is in the tank room." "Well that might very well explain your problem young William, because my merry lads will have turned all the power off as soon as they got there." "How will they brew up?" "Rest assured they will have wired up a temporary supply for their kettle and micro. You can depend on that." "What about the TV system? How about a temporary supply for that?" "Ohh, I don't know about Mr William! Not quite such a priority as the kettle, is it? But I'll see what I can do." "Thank you Harold. You are a star." "I know, I know!" I waited until 4.30 when the merry men would be sure to have gone, and consulted my site plan. It has notes by some flats, such as 'unco-operative', 'stinky flat', 'total nutter' and so forth. Selecting two with stars (this means they are sane and reasonable, or at least they did possess these attributes in some measure last time I met them) I circumvented the Data Protection Act and obtained their current phone numbers. "Is your telly back on?" "Yes it's lovely now. Better picture than before. Thank you." "Is your telly back on?" "Well the picture came back at four o'clock just before the yellow vans went, but the sound is very quiet." I crossed the job off the list. The next morning the calls started just after nine. Just the same as the previous day they came by many routes, but they all referred to one address on Mansfield Park. Several of them said that the tenant was reporting 'no reception' in the whole block. I rung the number. "Hello love. Have you got a problem with your TV reception?" "Oh yes, Thank God you've rung! I've been going mad!" "What's the problem then?" "I've got nothing! Nothing! For days now! I'm going mad!" "Yes, you said. Apparently the neighbours have problems as well." "Err . . .well no, theirs is all alright now . . ." In the flat were two women. One was a visiting neighbour. "Is your telly off as well love?" "Err no. Mine's alright." She scurried off. I turned to the tenant. "Show me the problem." "I sat up all night waiting for it to come on. I've got too much chlorophyll so I have to take statins, and they make my teeth hurt." I gestured towards the TV set. She fumbled with the remotes and the TV came on normally. But instead of saying 'Oh fancy that' like they normally do she stabbed the on/off button of the DTT box. The green light went red and the TV set went to a blue screen. "There!" she said. She went up the analogue channels, all of which were blank. "You see!" I turned the DTT box on and clicked through the channels. Everything was fine. "Oh yes, the digital works but not the television." I looked behind the set. There was no aerial connection to the TV set. I explained that without an aerial connection the TV set would only work on digital, from the box. I suggested that it had been like that since the day she got the DTT box. For a moment she looked totally confused, then said, "So it's all right then?" "Yes it is." "Well thank goodness. Thank you so much. You've put my mind at rest." Four days later amongst my post I found an Order. "Order no. BMBC/07823324/000008 Site: Mansfield Park. Problem: There is no TV reception Description of Problem: Aerial has fallen down Location: roof Action required: repair aerial Time scale: 48 hours PLEASE NOTE: You are asked to confirm with us if you are unable to comply with the time scale for repair. If you are unable to meet the time frame stipulated we will need to appoint alternative contractors. Authorising officer: J Austin. Bill |
Rigger's Diary: up all night
"Bill Wright" wrote in message ... snip Four days later amongst my post I found an Order. "Order no. BMBC/07823324/000008 Site: Mansfield Park. Problem: There is no TV reception Description of Problem: Aerial has fallen down Location: roof Action required: repair aerial Time scale: 48 hours PLEASE NOTE: You are asked to confirm with us if you are unable to comply with the time scale for repair. If you are unable to meet the time frame stipulated we will need to appoint alternative contractors. Authorising officer: J Austin. Bill Well don't just sit there, go and put up a new TV aerial for them. Authorising officer: J Austin must be right. Authorising officers don't get where they are today by talking ********. I dedicate this post to Authorising officers, without whom anything is possible Steve Terry |
Rigger's Diary: up all night
On Sun, 19 Jul 2009 09:14:47 GMT, "Brian Gaff"
wrote: Indeed, I also should point out that authorising officers I have come into contact with, should not be allowed to have spellcheckers. Not sure what she was allowed to authorise at the council, but probably everything, however, carefully dictating my contact details via email, I was perplexed some days later to find a letter in the post from her,,, I'm blind and had explained email was less error prone than scanning in paper documents.., I rang her and found that as part of my email address was brian, her little note to herself on word had changed this to brain and hence her emails were bouncing when she pasted the address into her email. Words fail me sometimes, I mean if your name is brian, you would hardly use brain in your email address, now would you. Sad to say, this is not the first time this has happened with council officials. Looking at word, it defaults NOT to spellcheck email and web addresses, so why these people have to change this sensible option escapes me. That's a simple one Brian. They use spellcheck because the false positives it produces are far fewer than the true positives typed in by the poorly-educated user. If you saw the draft before the spellchecker you would probably be clamouring for it to be switched on! |
Rigger's Diary: up all night
Brian Gaff wrote:
documents.., I rang her and found that as part of my email address was brian, her little note to herself on word had changed this to brain and hence her emails were bouncing when she pasted the address into her email. I'm 95% sure that it's not being spellchecked, but being typed in that way. Something that you wouldn't be aware of is the visual cognition oddity that "g1" tacked onto "brian" is enough to stop it from being immediately seen as a forename plus extra characters, and that perceiving it as "brain" is in fact quite likely. I needed a double-take myself. |
Rigger's Diary: up all night
"Steve Terry" wrote in message ... "Bill Wright" wrote in message ... snip Four days later amongst my post I found an Order. "Order no. BMBC/07823324/000008 Site: Mansfield Park. Problem: There is no TV reception Description of Problem: Aerial has fallen down Location: roof Action required: repair aerial Time scale: 48 hours PLEASE NOTE: You are asked to confirm with us if you are unable to comply with the time scale for repair. If you are unable to meet the time frame stipulated we will need to appoint alternative contractors. Authorising officer: J Austin. Bill Well don't just sit there, go and put up a new TV aerial for them. Authorising officer: J Austin must be right. Authorising officers don't get where they are today by talking ********. I dedicate this post to Authorising officers, without whom anything is possible Ah, but Ms Austen is quite a nice lady. A shrewd observer of human behaviour, although she told me once that she simply can't imagine what men talk about in the absence of ladies. We're actually on first name terms, so it's Jane and Bill, all very cosy. For some reason she takes a particular interests in the goings-on at Mansfield Park, and says she will write a book about the place some day. She's written other things, which I've seen. Her writing style is elegant and satirical, and is reminiscent of the transition in English literature from neo-classicism to romanticism. Bill |
Rigger's Diary: up all night
In article , Brian Gaff
wrote: Words fail me sometimes, I mean if your name is brian, you would hardly use brain in your email address, now would you. Many moons ago the place where I worked hired a new person to run the computing systems and help the simple-minded academics use them. Her name was Bryony ... . She kept getting letters from people that were addressed to 'Brian Y ...'. Presumably because the people writing couldn't fathom that a mere female was able to run computer systems and and help others to write programs, etc. Slainte, Jim -- Please use the address on the audiomisc page if you wish to email me. Electronics http://www.st-and.ac.uk/~www_pa/Scot...o/electron.htm Armstrong Audio http://www.audiomisc.co.uk/Armstrong/armstrong.html Audio Misc http://www.audiomisc.co.uk/index.html |
Rigger's Diary: up all night
"Bill Wright" wrote in message ... "Steve Terry" wrote in message ... "Bill Wright" wrote in message ... snip Four days later amongst my post I found an Order. "Order no. BMBC/07823324/000008 Site: Mansfield Park. Problem: There is no TV reception Description of Problem: Aerial has fallen down Location: roof Action required: repair aerial Time scale: 48 hours PLEASE NOTE: You are asked to confirm with us if you are unable to comply with the time scale for repair. If you are unable to meet the time frame stipulated we will need to appoint alternative contractors. Authorising officer: J Austin. Bill Well don't just sit there, go and put up a new TV aerial for them. Authorising officer: J Austin must be right. Authorising officers don't get where they are today by talking ********. I dedicate this post to Authorising officers, without whom anything is possible Ah, but Ms Austen is quite a nice lady. A shrewd observer of human behaviour, although she told me once that she simply can't imagine what men talk about in the absence of ladies. We're actually on first name terms, so it's Jane and Bill, all very cosy. For some reason she takes a particular interests in the goings-on at Mansfield Park, and says she will write a book about the place some day. She's written other things, which I've seen. Her writing style is elegant and satirical, and is reminiscent of the transition in English literature from neo-classicism to romanticism. Perhaps she could slip in a credit for you in one of her novels? Something like .. "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a viewer in possession of a television receiver must be in want of Wright's Aerials." |
Rigger's Diary: up all night
"RG" wrote in message ... Perhaps she could slip in a credit for you in one of her novels? Something like .. "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a viewer in possession of a television receiver must be in want of Wright's Aerials." I like it! Getting slightly closer to the original, how about, 'It is a truth universally acknowledged that a housing development in possession of a fortune must be in want of a new TV distribution system' ? Bill |
Rigger's Diary: up all night
"Bill Wright" wrote in message ... "Steve Terry" wrote in message ... "Bill Wright" wrote in message ... snip Four days later amongst my post I found an Order. "Order no. BMBC/07823324/000008 Site: Mansfield Park. Problem: There is no TV reception Description of Problem: Aerial has fallen down Location: roof Action required: repair aerial Time scale: 48 hours PLEASE NOTE: You are asked to confirm with us if you are unable to comply with the time scale for repair. If you are unable to meet the time frame stipulated we will need to appoint alternative contractors. Authorising officer: J Austin. Bill Well don't just sit there, go and put up a new TV aerial for them. Authorising officer: J Austin must be right. Authorising officers don't get where they are today by talking ********. I dedicate this post to Authorising officers, without whom anything is possible Ah, but Ms Austen is quite a nice lady. A shrewd observer of human behaviour, although she told me once that she simply can't imagine what men talk about in the absence of ladies. We're actually on first name terms, so it's Jane and Bill, all very cosy. For some reason she takes a particular interests in the goings-on at Mansfield Park, and says she will write a book about the place some day. She's written other things, which I've seen. Her writing style is elegant and satirical, and is reminiscent of the transition in English literature from neo-classicism to romanticism. Bill I see, you want to get inside her knickers, she sounds blonde Steve Terry |
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