Announcement from Paramount Comedy Channel
 

Dear viewers,

as you all have realized by now, Paramount has changed its program policy.
Due to a total lack of brain in upper management and a lack of money in our
bank accounts, we are forced to broadcast a program contrary to our former
disposition. We had to replace/censor all quality programs like "Dharma &
Greg", "Everybody loves Raymond", "Becker", "Sex and the city", "Seinfeld"
and many more, and replaced them with the recent findings that were made in
a very british WW2 bunker, which still happens to be stocked up to the roof
with crap we all could have lived our whole lives without. The program we
now have to endorse is the result of the recent takeover of our management
by british nationalists who truly seem to believe that a moron like Frank
Skinner is a comedian. The new program includes timewasters like "Minders",
"Rhoda", "Mash", "Time gentlemen please", "Happy Days" and much more
programming that is
offensive to good taste and according standards. We furthermore would like
to express our regret, that even programs that are broadcast after 9 PM have
to be censored for words like "bit..", "bast...", "pis..." and many more
expressions of such extreme offensive nature. It can and will not be endured
that our youth as well as the adults of this great nation shall be subjected
to such filth. This opinion is even more justified by the fact that very few
of our viewers have so far raised their voices against this change in our
program policy, which immediately leads us to believe that the average
viewer doesn´t seem to be able to think for themselves and therefore, we as
the moral gatekeepers of this great nation, have to inevitably take part in
a moderate but very necessary censorship on our part, as it is our moral
responsibility to do so.

Furthermore we´d like to announce that within the next six to twelve months
we plan to erradicate the subversive element of modern US-programming at
Paramount in full, and get back to the roots of this proud and cultivated
nation, which in conclusion means nothing else but dumbass programms ALL THE
LIVE LONG DAY, which can only be considered funny once a person has
consumated several dozen pintes (NOT LITRES!!!) of fermented substances of
one´s choice, preferrably harvested in the United Kingdom.
God save the queen ... that demented bitch .....

Paramount wrote:

We had to replace/censor all quality programs like "Dharma &
Greg", "Everybody loves Raymond", "Becker", "Sex and the city", "Seinfeld"

These are the "quality" programmes?
Thank you for reminding me why I don't subscribe.

--
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----
Only the truth as I see it.
No monies return'd. ;-)

"Jomtien" wrote in message
...
Paramount wrote:

We had to replace/censor all quality programs like "Dharma &
Greg", "Everybody loves Raymond", "Becker", "Sex and the city",
"Seinfeld"

These are the "quality" programmes?
Thank you for reminding me why I don't subscribe.

Seinfeld is great!

In uk.media.tv.sky on Wed, 10 Dec 2003, paul wrote :

We had to replace/censor all quality programs like "Dharma &
Greg", "Everybody loves Raymond", "Becker", "Sex and the city",
"Seinfeld"

These are the "quality" programmes?
Thank you for reminding me why I don't subscribe.

Seinfeld is great!

But it's hardly new, which I think was what the original comment was
about.
--
Paul 'US Sitcom Fan' Hyett

On Thu, 11 Dec 2003 06:45:32 +0000, Paul Hyett
wrote:

We had to replace/censor all quality programs like "Dharma &
Greg", "Everybody loves Raymond", "Becker", "Sex and the city",
"Seinfeld"

These are the "quality" programmes?
Thank you for reminding me why I don't subscribe.

Seinfeld is great!

But it's hardly new, which I think was what the original comment was
about.

I thought the comment was about how the programmes above keep getting
censored. New referred to Minder etc.

And yes Seinfeld is great - it may not be new but it will run and run.

--
Hiram Hackenbacker

In uk.media.tv.sky on Thu, 11 Dec 2003, Hiram Hackenbacker wrote :

Seinfeld is great!

But it's hardly new, which I think was what the original comment was
about.

I thought the comment was about how the programmes above keep getting
censored.

D'oh, You're right!

And yes Seinfeld is great - it may not be new but it will run and run.

I'm dare say UK fans will only be able to get DVD's on import though, as
it pretty much bombed here.
--
Paul 'US Sitcom Fan' Hyett

On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 07:20:31 +0000, Paul Hyett
wrote:

And yes Seinfeld is great - it may not be new but it will run and run.

I'm dare say UK fans will only be able to get DVD's on import though, as
it pretty much bombed here.

I wish, there seem to be no plans to release Seinfeld on DVD.

Even Larry Sanders had a selection of episodes released on DVD and
that wasn't quite as good.

--
Hiram Hackenbacker

"Hiram Hackenbacker" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 07:20:31 +0000, Paul Hyett
wrote:

And yes Seinfeld is great - it may not be new but it will run and run.

I'm dare say UK fans will only be able to get DVD's on import though, as
it pretty much bombed here.

I wish, there seem to be no plans to release Seinfeld on DVD.

Even Larry Sanders had a selection of episodes released on DVD and
that wasn't quite as good.

I think you can buy the next best thing on dvd, Curb Your Enthusiasm.

On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 15:13:01 -0000, "paul" wrote:

And yes Seinfeld is great - it may not be new but it will run and run.

I'm dare say UK fans will only be able to get DVD's on import though, as
it pretty much bombed here.

I wish, there seem to be no plans to release Seinfeld on DVD.

Even Larry Sanders had a selection of episodes released on DVD and
that wasn't quite as good.

I think you can buy the next best thing on dvd, Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Release date on DVD in the US is mid-January 2004. I will be ordering
it then.

--
Hiram Hackenbacker

"Hiram Hackenbacker" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 07:20:31 +0000, Paul Hyett
wrote:

And yes Seinfeld is great - it may not be new but it will run and run.

I'm dare say UK fans will only be able to get DVD's on import though, as
it pretty much bombed here.

I wish, there seem to be no plans to release Seinfeld on DVD.

http://www.davesrants.com/archives/2...eld_on_dvd.php

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...795272-2579924

On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 18:25:58 -0000, "paul" wrote:

And yes Seinfeld is great - it may not be new but it will run and run.

I'm dare say UK fans will only be able to get DVD's on import though, as
it pretty much bombed here.

I wish, there seem to be no plans to release Seinfeld on DVD.

http://www.davesrants.com/archives/2...eld_on_dvd.php

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...795272-2579924

Which states:- "Availability: NOT YET RELEASED: The studio is
currently not producing this title on DVD, but to be notified when it
is available, enter your e-mail address at right. You'll also be
voting for this release; we'll let the studio know how many customers
are waiting for this title."

--
Hiram Hackenbacker