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-   -   Sad news (http://www.homecinemabanter.com/showthread.php?t=79724)

Robin[_10_] August 23rd 19 10:43 AM

Sad news
 
I hope Bill will forgive me for reposting from uk.d-i-y the bit quoted
below but it was news to me and so will possibly also be to some here.

For ease of a reference Bill's email address is


On 23/08/2019 04:36, Bill Wright wrote:


snip

Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as good a
place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary died on the 7th
August. I am utterly heartbroken.

Bill



--
Robin
reply-to address is (intended to be) valid

John Hall[_2_] August 23rd 19 11:36 AM

Sad news
 
In message , Robin
writes
I hope Bill will forgive me for reposting from uk.d-i-y the bit quoted
below but it was news to me and so will possibly also be to some here.

For ease of a reference Bill's email address is


On 23/08/2019 04:36, Bill Wright wrote:


snip

Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as good a
place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary died on the 7th
August. I am utterly heartbroken.
Bill




My condolences, Bill.
--
John Hall
"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come
sit next to me."
Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)

Mr Pounder Esquire August 23rd 19 12:22 PM

Sad news
 
John Hall wrote:
In message , Robin
writes
I hope Bill will forgive me for reposting from uk.d-i-y the bit
quoted below but it was news to me and so will possibly also be to
some here. For ease of a reference Bill's email address is

On 23/08/2019 04:36, Bill Wright wrote:


snip

Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as good a
place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary died on the
7th August. I am utterly heartbroken.
Bill




My condolences, Bill.


+ 1



S Viemeister[_2_] August 23rd 19 01:28 PM

Sad news
 
On 8/23/2019 9:43 AM, Robin wrote:
I hope Bill will forgive me for reposting from uk.d-i-y the bit quoted
below but it was news to me and so will possibly also be to some here.

For ease of a reference Bill's email address is


On 23/08/2019 04:36, Bill Wright wrote:


snip

Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as good a
place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary died on the 7th
August. I am utterly heartbroken.

Bill



How very sad. You have my deepest sympathy.

Bob Latham August 23rd 19 04:03 PM

Sad news
 
In article ,
Robin wrote:

I hope Bill will forgive me for reposting from uk.d-i-y the bit
quoted below but it was news to me and so will possibly also be to
some here.


For ease of a reference Bill's email address is



On 23/08/2019 04:36, Bill Wright wrote:


snip


Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as
good a place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary
died on the 7th August. I am utterly heartbroken.

Bill


Anything I say is so desperately inadequate. I really am truly sorry
Bill.

Bob.

--
Bob Latham
Stourbridge, West Midlands

Alan White[_3_] August 23rd 19 04:25 PM

Sad news
 

Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as good a
place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary died on the 7th
August. I am utterly heartbroken.

Bill


Very sorry indeed to hear that, Bill.

Thinking of you.

--
Alan White
Mozilla Firefox and Forte Agent.
In Helensburgh, Scotland.
Weather:- http://windycroft.co.uk/weather

Indy Jess John August 23rd 19 04:54 PM

Sad news
 
On 23/08/2019 11:22, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:
John Hall wrote:
In , Robin
writes
I hope Bill will forgive me for reposting from uk.d-i-y the bit
quoted below but it was news to me and so will possibly also be to
some here. For ease of a reference Bill's email address is

On 23/08/2019 04:36, Bill Wright wrote:

snip

Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as good a
place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary died on the
7th August. I am utterly heartbroken.
Bill



My condolences, Bill.


+ 1


+2



Phi August 23rd 19 05:24 PM

Sad news
 

"Robin" wrote in message
...
I hope Bill will forgive me for reposting from uk.d-i-y the bit quoted
below but it was news to me and so will possibly also be to some here.

For ease of a reference Bill's email address is


On 23/08/2019 04:36, Bill Wright wrote:


snip

Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as good a
place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary died on the 7th
August. I am utterly heartbroken.

Bill



--
Robin
reply-to address is (intended to be) valid



So very sad to hear this Bill, I send my sincerest condolence.


Bill Wright[_3_] August 23rd 19 06:23 PM

Sad news
 
On 23/08/2019 09:43, Robin wrote:
I hope Bill will forgive me for reposting from uk.d-i-y the bit quoted
below but it was news to me and so will possibly also be to some here.

For ease of a reference Bill's email address is


On 23/08/2019 04:36, Bill Wright wrote:


snip

Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as good a
place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary died on the 7th
August. I am utterly heartbroken.

Bill



Thanks for that.

Bill

Bill Wright[_3_] August 23rd 19 06:24 PM

Sad news
 
On 23/08/2019 15:03, Bob Latham wrote:
In article ,
Robin wrote:

I hope Bill will forgive me for reposting from uk.d-i-y the bit
quoted below but it was news to me and so will possibly also be to
some here.


For ease of a reference Bill's email address is



On 23/08/2019 04:36, Bill Wright wrote:


snip


Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as
good a place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary
died on the 7th August. I am utterly heartbroken.

Bill


Anything I say is so desperately inadequate. I really am truly sorry
Bill.

Bob.

Thank you.

Bill

Bill Wright[_3_] August 23rd 19 06:24 PM

Sad news
 
On 23/08/2019 15:25, Alan White wrote:

Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as good a
place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary died on the 7th
August. I am utterly heartbroken.

Bill


Very sorry indeed to hear that, Bill.

Thinking of you.


Thank you.

Bill

Brian Gaff August 24th 19 10:58 AM

Sad news
 
Yes, not seen this at all here. Very sad, and my condolences Bill. From
experience of loss of loved ones there is nothing anyone can say or do to
make it better, everyone of us grieves differently, and all I can say is
that many people who were dear to me are still alive in my head and that is
all we can hope for really.
Brian

--
----- --
This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from...
The Sofa of Brian Gaff...

Blind user, so no pictures please
Note this Signature is meaningless.!
"Robin" wrote in message
...
I hope Bill will forgive me for reposting from uk.d-i-y the bit quoted
below but it was news to me and so will possibly also be to some here.

For ease of a reference Bill's email address is



On 23/08/2019 04:36, Bill Wright wrote:


snip

Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as good a
place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary died on the 7th
August. I am utterly heartbroken.

Bill



--
Robin
reply-to address is (intended to be) valid




Bill Wright[_3_] August 24th 19 01:20 PM

Sad news
 
On 24/08/2019 09:58, Brian Gaff wrote:
Yes, not seen this at all here. Very sad, and my condolences Bill. From
experience of loss of loved ones there is nothing anyone can say or do to
make it better, everyone of us grieves differently, and all I can say is
that many people who were dear to me are still alive in my head and that is
all we can hope for really.
Brian


Than you Brian. Food for thought.

Bill

Scott[_4_] August 25th 19 05:45 PM

Sad news
 
On Fri, 23 Aug 2019 09:43:27 +0100, Robin wrote:
[snip]

Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as good a
place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary died on the 7th
August. I am utterly heartbroken.


Please accept my condolences too. I know we all enjoy a good argument
on the newsgroups, but when something like this happens it makes one
stop and realise what is really important in life.

Bill Wright[_3_] August 25th 19 06:54 PM

Sad news
 
On 25/08/2019 16:45, Scott wrote:
On Fri, 23 Aug 2019 09:43:27 +0100, Robin wrote:
[snip]

Anyway, these matters are now behind me. I suppose this is as good a
place to mention it as any, but my beloved wife Hilary died on the 7th
August. I am utterly heartbroken.


Please accept my condolences too. I know we all enjoy a good argument
on the newsgroups, but when something like this happens it makes one
stop and realise what is really important in life.

It does indeed.

Bill

Bob Latham August 25th 19 07:04 PM

Sad news
 
In article ,
Scott wrote:

I know we all enjoy a good argument on the newsgroups, but when
something like this happens it makes one stop and realise what is
really important in life.


+1

Ain't that the truth.

Bob.

--
Bob Latham
Stourbridge, West Midlands

pinnerite August 25th 19 07:28 PM

Sad news
 
Like all your followers, I too am very sorry for your loss.

Alan

Bill Wright[_3_] August 25th 19 11:56 PM

Sad news
 
On 25/08/2019 18:28, pinnerite wrote:
Like all your followers, I too am very sorry for your loss.

Alan

Thank you my son.

Bill

Mr Pounder Esquire August 26th 19 01:22 PM

Sad news
 
pinnerite wrote:
Like all your followers, I too am very sorry for your loss.

Alan


+1



Bill Wright[_3_] August 26th 19 01:47 PM

Sad news
 
On 26/08/2019 12:22, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:
pinnerite wrote:
Like all your followers, I too am very sorry for your loss.

Alan


+1


An oddity is that when people say "You'll feel better eventually" or
whatever my reaction is to think that I don't want to feel better. I
want to stay like this for ever, crying for her. To "feel better" would
be to distance myself from her, and I don't want to do that. I want her
to fill my mind for ever.

Bill

Bob Latham August 26th 19 01:58 PM

Sad news
 
In article ,
Bill Wright wrote:

An oddity is that when people say "You'll feel better eventually"
or whatever


As if you'd pulled a muscle or something.

my reaction is to think that I don't want to feel better. I want to
stay like this for ever, crying for her. To "feel better" would be
to distance myself from her, and I don't want to do that. I want
her to fill my mind for ever.


I completely understand that, perfectly normal human reaction. I
would be seriously worried about someone who didn't feel like that.


Cheers,

Bob.

--
Bob Latham
Stourbridge, West Midlands

Bill Wright[_3_] August 26th 19 02:11 PM

Sad news
 
On 26/08/2019 12:58, Bob Latham wrote:
In article ,
Bill Wright wrote:

An oddity is that when people say "You'll feel better eventually"
or whatever


As if you'd pulled a muscle or something.

my reaction is to think that I don't want to feel better. I want to
stay like this for ever, crying for her. To "feel better" would be
to distance myself from her, and I don't want to do that. I want
her to fill my mind for ever.


I completely understand that, perfectly normal human reaction. I
would be seriously worried about someone who didn't feel like that.


You reassure me.

Bill

Java Jive[_3_] August 26th 19 02:34 PM

Sad news
 
On 26/08/2019 12:47, Bill Wright wrote:

An oddity is that when people say "You'll feel better eventually" or
whatever my reaction is to think that I don't want to feel better. I
want to stay like this for ever, crying for her. To "feel better" would
be to distance myself from her, and I don't want to do that. I want her
to fill my mind for ever.


It's not an oddity, but it's not helpful to you. You are in a dark
tunnel of grief that only time can let you get to the end of, to find
some sort of daylight at the end. It is you, not Hil, who is still
alive and therefore suffering; as far as anyone knows, she herself now
feels nothing. Therefore it is *you* who needs help now.

In the comedy "The Last Of The Blonde Bombshells", a grandmother whose
husband has just died asks her early teens, or thereabouts,
granddaughter how one should show respect for the dead, and the
granddaughter answers, perhaps rather glibly: "That's easy! Just keep
on living!" Glib it may be, but it's true. You have to find out how to
respect her memory and keep it alive in a way that allows you to
continue to live and function as normally as possible, and only time can
help with that.

As soon as you can, start finding yourself things to keep yourself
occupied. When a child cuts itself, it goes running to Mummy, who, like
as not, will put a plaster on the cut. Later, the plaster is peeled
off, and the cut is healed, so the child thinks there's something magic
about plaster, and asks for one at for every slightest graze, even when
there's no real need, not realising that all the plaster was doing was
keeping the wound clean while the child's own body was responsible for
the healing of the wound underneath. Keeping yourself occupied is your
plaster, while time does the silent, unseen healing underneath.

It may sound terribly unfeeling to give such clinically logical advice,
but, trust me, it works better than anything else.

Robin[_10_] August 26th 19 03:42 PM

Sad news
 
On 26/08/2019 12:47, Bill Wright wrote:
On 26/08/2019 12:22, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:
pinnerite wrote:
Like all your followers, I too am very sorry for your loss.

Alan


+1


An oddity is that when people say "You'll feel better eventually" or
whatever my reaction is to think that I don't want to feel better. I
want to stay like this for ever, crying for her. To "feel better" would
be to distance myself from her, and I don't want to do that. I want her
to fill my mind for ever.


It's a silly thing for them to say. But try to be charitable and put it
down to their ignorance or stupidity. All I'd ever say is that most
people find it easier to /cope/ as time goes by.

IMLE those with children and grandchildren seem to cope better - even
if the family are too far way to lend practical support - so I reckon
it's persykology.


--
Robin
reply-to address is (intended to be) valid

Yellow[_3_] August 26th 19 04:52 PM

Sad news
 
On Mon, 26 Aug 2019 12:47:32 +0100 Bill Wright
posted:

On 26/08/2019 12:22, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:
pinnerite wrote:
Like all your followers, I too am very sorry for your loss.

Alan


+1


An oddity is that when people say "You'll feel better eventually" or
whatever my reaction is to think that I don't want to feel better. I
want to stay like this for ever, crying for her. To "feel better" would
be to distance myself from her, and I don't want to do that. I want her
to fill my mind for ever.

Bill


First, I would like also to express my sincere condolences.

I lost my husband some years ago and I completely understand what you
have written here and you will find people will say a lot of things,
especially those who have not been through a similar loss and just feel
they need to say something, anything.

I even had one person tell me they knew how I felt as they has recently
lost their dog. :-)

And I do not mean that in a nasty way as people genuinely want to help,
want to say something to help take away the pain they can see that you
are going through.

But in my own experience, you will never get over it but you will
hopefully learn how to cope with everyday live without being consumed by
the grief of it.

I guess that is what some people equate with "feeling better" when in
fact it is probably more about learning to keep the feelings inside so
/they/ see it less.

But if it is any of any help, my husband is no less part of me than he
was the day I lost him but I am now able to live my life without every
moment being about him no longer being here - which is how it was for me
for the first few years.

Do I "feel better" about him not being here? No, I don't. But I can at
least go about my life without breaking down in tears when a memory is
triggered or when I need his help, and for that I am grateful.

So take your time, ignore other people's expectations and just smile
sweetly when they say silly things as they really are just trying to
help however misguided their comments might be.


Mr Pounder Esquire August 26th 19 06:25 PM

Sad news
 
Bill Wright wrote:
On 26/08/2019 12:22, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:
pinnerite wrote:
Like all your followers, I too am very sorry for your loss.

Alan


+1


An oddity is that when people say "You'll feel better eventually" or
whatever my reaction is to think that I don't want to feel better. I
want to stay like this for ever, crying for her. To "feel better"
would be to distance myself from her, and I don't want to do that. I
want her to fill my mind for ever.

Bill


My wife of 28 years died last year in April. And yes, it broke my heart.
After all of this time I still cry sometimes and sometimes see her in my
dreams.
But, Bill, the hurt does fade and you will feel better as far as feeling
better can go. I've been there and the hurt does fade. I wish you all the
best.
For what it is worth, when my dad died mum just gave up after 56 years of
marriage. She was a mess and lasted maybe a couple of years after. Don't let
that happen to you. Hil would not like it. When my wife died I have done my
best to carry on, my late wife would not have liked me to chuck the towel
in.





Mr Pounder Esquire August 26th 19 06:29 PM

Sad news
 
Robin wrote:
On 26/08/2019 12:47, Bill Wright wrote:
On 26/08/2019 12:22, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:
pinnerite wrote:
Like all your followers, I too am very sorry for your loss.

Alan

+1


An oddity is that when people say "You'll feel better eventually" or
whatever my reaction is to think that I don't want to feel better. I
want to stay like this for ever, crying for her. To "feel better"
would be to distance myself from her, and I don't want to do that. I
want her to fill my mind for ever.


It's a silly thing for them to say. But try to be charitable and put
it down to their ignorance or stupidity. All I'd ever say is that
most people find it easier to /cope/ as time goes by.


No, it is not down to ignorance or stupidity, they are trying to be as
helpful as they can.

IMLE those with children and grandchildren seem to cope better - even
if the family are too far way to lend practical support - so I reckon
it's persykology.




charles[_2_] August 26th 19 06:36 PM

Sad news
 
In article , Mr Pounder Esquire
wrote:
Bill Wright wrote:
On 26/08/2019 12:22, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:
pinnerite wrote:
Like all your followers, I too am very sorry for your loss.

Alan

+1


An oddity is that when people say "You'll feel better eventually" or
whatever my reaction is to think that I don't want to feel better. I
want to stay like this for ever, crying for her. To "feel better" would
be to distance myself from her, and I don't want to do that. I want her
to fill my mind for ever.

Bill


My wife of 28 years died last year in April. And yes, it broke my heart.
After all of this time I still cry sometimes and sometimes see her in my
dreams. But, Bill, the hurt does fade and you will feel better as far as
feeling better can go. I've been there and the hurt does fade. I wish
you all the best. For what it is worth, when my dad died mum just gave
up after 56 years of marriage. She was a mess and lasted maybe a couple
of years after. Don't let that happen to you. Hil would not like it.
When my wife died I have done my best to carry on, my late wife would
not have liked me to chuck the towel in.



My mother died - of stomach cancer - when she was only 62 . My father
caried on my himself for another 27 years.

--
from KT24 in Surrey, England
"I'd rather die of exhaustion than die of boredom" Thomas Carlyle

Mr Pounder Esquire August 26th 19 06:42 PM

Sad news
 
charles wrote:
In article , Mr Pounder Esquire
wrote:
Bill Wright wrote:
On 26/08/2019 12:22, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:
pinnerite wrote:
Like all your followers, I too am very sorry for your loss.

Alan

+1


An oddity is that when people say "You'll feel better eventually" or
whatever my reaction is to think that I don't want to feel better. I
want to stay like this for ever, crying for her. To "feel better"
would be to distance myself from her, and I don't want to do that.
I want her to fill my mind for ever.

Bill


My wife of 28 years died last year in April. And yes, it broke my
heart. After all of this time I still cry sometimes and sometimes
see her in my dreams. But, Bill, the hurt does fade and you will
feel better as far as feeling better can go. I've been there and the
hurt does fade. I wish you all the best. For what it is worth, when
my dad died mum just gave up after 56 years of marriage. She was a
mess and lasted maybe a couple of years after. Don't let that happen
to you. Hil would not like it. When my wife died I have done my best
to carry on, my late wife would not have liked me to chuck the towel
in.



My mother died - of stomach cancer - when she was only 62 . My father
caried on my himself for another 27 years.


+1



Yellow[_3_] August 26th 19 08:16 PM

Sad news
 
On Mon, 26 Aug 2019 17:29:23 +0100 Mr Pounder Esquire
posted:

Robin wrote:
On 26/08/2019 12:47, Bill Wright wrote:
On 26/08/2019 12:22, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:
pinnerite wrote:
Like all your followers, I too am very sorry for your loss.

Alan

+1


An oddity is that when people say "You'll feel better eventually" or
whatever my reaction is to think that I don't want to feel better. I
want to stay like this for ever, crying for her. To "feel better"
would be to distance myself from her, and I don't want to do that. I
want her to fill my mind for ever.


It's a silly thing for them to say. But try to be charitable and put
it down to their ignorance or stupidity. All I'd ever say is that
most people find it easier to /cope/ as time goes by.


No, it is not down to ignorance or stupidity, they are trying to be as
helpful as they can.


With respect - it is both. :-)

Bill Wright[_3_] August 26th 19 09:18 PM

Sad news
 
On 26/08/2019 13:34, Java Jive wrote:
On 26/08/2019 12:47, Bill Wright wrote:

An oddity is that when people say "You'll feel better eventually" or
whatever my reaction is to think that I don't want to feel better. I
want to stay like this for ever, crying for her. To "feel better"
would be to distance myself from her, and I don't want to do that. I
want her to fill my mind for ever.


It's not an oddity, but it's not helpful to you.¬* You are in a dark
tunnel of grief that only time can let you get to the end of, to find
some sort of daylight at the end.¬* It is you, not Hil, who is still
alive and therefore suffering; as far as anyone knows, she herself now
feels nothing.¬* Therefore it is *you* who needs help now.

In the comedy "The Last Of The Blonde Bombshells", a grandmother whose
husband has just died asks her early teens, or thereabouts,
granddaughter how one should show respect for the dead, and the
granddaughter answers, perhaps rather glibly: "That's easy!¬* Just keep
on living!"¬* Glib it may be, but it's true.¬* You have to find out how to
respect her memory and keep it alive in a way that allows you to
continue to live and function as normally as possible, and only time can
help with that.

As soon as you can, start finding yourself things to keep yourself
occupied.¬* When a child cuts itself, it goes running to Mummy, who, like
as not, will put a plaster on the cut.¬* Later, the plaster is peeled
off, and the cut is healed, so the child thinks there's something magic
about plaster, and asks for one at for every slightest graze, even when
there's no real need, not realising that all the plaster was doing was
keeping the wound clean while the child's own body was responsible for
the healing of the wound underneath.¬* Keeping yourself occupied is your
plaster, while time does the silent, unseen healing underneath.

It may sound terribly unfeeling to give such clinically logical advice,
but, trust me, it works better than anything else.


Wise words. Thank you.

Bill

Bill Wright[_3_] August 26th 19 09:24 PM

Sad news
 
On 26/08/2019 14:42, Robin wrote:

IMLE those with children and grandchildren seem to cope better¬* - even
if the family are too far way to lend practical support - so I reckon
it's persykology.


The grandchildren don't know it but they are marvelous.

Bill

Bill Wright[_3_] August 26th 19 09:28 PM

Sad news
 
On 26/08/2019 15:52, Yellow wrote:


I lost my husband some years ago and I completely understand what you
have written here and you will find people will say a lot of things,
especially those who have not been through a similar loss and just feel
they need to say something, anything.

I even had one person tell me they knew how I felt as they has recently
lost their dog. :-)

And I do not mean that in a nasty way as people genuinely want to help,
want to say something to help take away the pain they can see that you
are going through.

But in my own experience, you will never get over it but you will
hopefully learn how to cope with everyday live without being consumed by
the grief of it.

I guess that is what some people equate with "feeling better" when in
fact it is probably more about learning to keep the feelings inside so
/they/ see it less.

But if it is any of any help, my husband is no less part of me than he
was the day I lost him but I am now able to live my life without every
moment being about him no longer being here - which is how it was for me
for the first few years.

Do I "feel better" about him not being here? No, I don't. But I can at
least go about my life without breaking down in tears when a memory is
triggered or when I need his help, and for that I am grateful.

So take your time, ignore other people's expectations and just smile
sweetly when they say silly things as they really are just trying to
help however misguided their comments might be.


A very helpful and insightful post. Thank you.

Bill

Bill Wright[_3_] August 26th 19 09:30 PM

Sad news
 
On 26/08/2019 17:25, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:

My wife of 28 years died last year in April. And yes, it broke my heart.
After all of this time I still cry sometimes and sometimes see her in my
dreams.
But, Bill, the hurt does fade and you will feel better as far as feeling
better can go. I've been there and the hurt does fade. I wish you all the
best.
For what it is worth, when my dad died mum just gave up after 56 years of
marriage. She was a mess and lasted maybe a couple of years after. Don't let
that happen to you. Hil would not like it. When my wife died I have done my
best to carry on, my late wife would not have liked me to chuck the towel
in.


Thank you. That helps me feel less alone.

Bill

Vir Campestris August 26th 19 10:15 PM

Sad news
 
On 26/08/2019 20:30, Bill Wright wrote:
Thank you. That helps me feel less alone.


Bill, you are not alone.

Time will allow you to cope with your grief better.

Andy

Bill Wright[_3_] August 27th 19 04:07 AM

Sad news
 
On 26/08/2019 21:15, Vir Campestris wrote:
On 26/08/2019 20:30, Bill Wright wrote:
Thank you. That helps me feel less alone.


Bill, you are not alone.

Time will allow you to cope with your grief better.

Andy


Yes I guess so.

Bill

Roderick Stewart[_3_] August 27th 19 12:04 PM

Sad news
 
Bill,

I've been deliberating what I could possibly say here that wouldn't
sound trite or simply a duplication of what others have already said,
but I realise I must add my sympathies if only to swell the numbers,
because the real message is that you are not alone. It's a bizarre
situation that a bunch of people who only know each other as words on
a screen and will probably never meet can regard each other as friends
to the extent of sharing each other's sorrows, but there we are.

I think the point somebody made about grandchildren is a particularly
strong one. I know you've got grandchildren; you've mentioned them
plenty of times, and every time you do I am reminded of my own, and
the strange uplifting mixture of worry, frustration, amazement and
pure love that nothing else can provide. It's like having children all
over again, but this time with the time and patience to cope with it
better (and give them back when you've had enough). I know I would be
a different person without mine. Try to see yours as often as you can.
(I expect you will anyway). Anything you can do to add to their
knowledge and experience or just let them know how much they mean to
you will help them cope with whatever their own lives throw at them.
Nothing can replace your loss of course, but grandchildren can give
you a sense of purpose and meaning like no other, and I'm sure this
will help.

I hope it also helps you to know that your occasional colourful and
amusing reminiscences of some of the crazy situations you have been in
and various wacky people you have met are very much appreciated. I
expect it will be some time before you feel like sharing any more of
these with us, but if you ever think you do, don't hesitate. I'm sure
I speak for most of us when I say that the uplifting effect your
stories have on our otherwise mundane lives is greatly valued.

Rod.

Mr Pounder Esquire August 27th 19 06:14 PM

Sad news
 
Bill Wright wrote:
On 26/08/2019 17:25, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:

My wife of 28 years died last year in April. And yes, it broke my
heart. After all of this time I still cry sometimes and sometimes
see her in my dreams.
But, Bill, the hurt does fade and you will feel better as far as
feeling better can go. I've been there and the hurt does fade. I
wish you all the best.
For what it is worth, when my dad died mum just gave up after 56
years of marriage. She was a mess and lasted maybe a couple of years
after. Don't let that happen to you. Hil would not like it. When my
wife died I have done my best to carry on, my late wife would not
have liked me to chuck the towel in.


Thank you. That helps me feel less alone.

Bill


You may find that you cry easily, it is nothing to be ashamed of.



Mr Pounder Esquire August 27th 19 06:16 PM

Sad news
 
Roderick Stewart wrote:
Bill,

I've been deliberating what I could possibly say here that wouldn't
sound trite or simply a duplication of what others have already said,
but I realise I must add my sympathies if only to swell the numbers,
because the real message is that you are not alone. It's a bizarre
situation that a bunch of people who only know each other as words on
a screen and will probably never meet can regard each other as friends
to the extent of sharing each other's sorrows, but there we are.

I think the point somebody made about grandchildren is a particularly
strong one. I know you've got grandchildren; you've mentioned them
plenty of times, and every time you do I am reminded of my own, and
the strange uplifting mixture of worry, frustration, amazement and
pure love that nothing else can provide. It's like having children all
over again, but this time with the time and patience to cope with it
better (and give them back when you've had enough). I know I would be
a different person without mine. Try to see yours as often as you can.
(I expect you will anyway). Anything you can do to add to their
knowledge and experience or just let them know how much they mean to
you will help them cope with whatever their own lives throw at them.
Nothing can replace your loss of course, but grandchildren can give
you a sense of purpose and meaning like no other, and I'm sure this
will help.

I hope it also helps you to know that your occasional colourful and
amusing reminiscences of some of the crazy situations you have been in
and various wacky people you have met are very much appreciated. I
expect it will be some time before you feel like sharing any more of
these with us, but if you ever think you do, don't hesitate. I'm sure
I speak for most of us when I say that the uplifting effect your
stories have on our otherwise mundane lives is greatly valued.

Rod.


+1



Woody[_4_] August 27th 19 06:27 PM

Sad news
 
On Tue 27/08/2019 17:14, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:
Bill Wright wrote:
On 26/08/2019 17:25, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:

My wife of 28 years died last year in April. And yes, it broke my
heart. After all of this time I still cry sometimes and sometimes
see her in my dreams.
But, Bill, the hurt does fade and you will feel better as far as
feeling better can go. I've been there and the hurt does fade. I
wish you all the best.
For what it is worth, when my dad died mum just gave up after 56
years of marriage. She was a mess and lasted maybe a couple of years
after. Don't let that happen to you. Hil would not like it. When my
wife died I have done my best to carry on, my late wife would not
have liked me to chuck the towel in.


Thank you. That helps me feel less alone.

Bill


You may find that you cry easily, it is nothing to be ashamed of.


I haven't added my thoughts yet, but for the moment suffice to say that
the ability to cry is a stress relief that nothing else can match.
Bottle it up and you are heading for an MI, let it go and you will survive.

I was told that by my GP 25 years ago when my father died.

--
Woody

harrogate three at ntlworld dot com


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